2010-01-27

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Please watch the following video:

Alrighty then, what's wrong with that commercial?

  • An attractive girl working the Taco Bell register?
  • An attractive girl calls over equally attractive girl working same shift at Taco Bell?
  • The rapport between the workers and the customers?

Can I take your order... AND YOUR SOUL?Now, this may shock you, but I do hit Taco Bell about once or twice a month.  At the one I go to for lunch, the hag who works the counter looks similar to the picture on the left.  And she trusts the customers so much that she uses that one special marker to test them.

Oh no, not just the $20's like most stores do.

Nope, not just the $10's too.

SHE TESTS THE $5's!?!?!?  Like there is a wave of $5 bill counterfeiters buying 5 layer burritos.  I've seen her think about marking $1's.

2010-01-26

Would You Rather?

image The other day, I posted on my sidebar the following question from the board game, 'Would You Rather' (this is NOT a paid endorsement.)

The question was:  Would you rather…

Spend your entire life in a room with no windows? 2 (16%)
Spend your entire life in a glass room where everyone could watch your every move? 10 (83%)

Seems like 10 of you would want to have everyone watch you poop.  I and one other right thinking person chose the room with no windows.  Strategic use of webcams would let me see out without everyone seeing in.

As you may or may not have noticed, there's a new question up.

Would you rather…

Have a snowball fight against a pro baseball pitcher?  
Play dodge ball against a pro quarterback?  

No headshots, but going for the goolies is TOTALLY allowed.

I'm going dodge ball.


Oh, I know I have been angling to get hits from Liechtenstein & Luxembourg a lot recently, so I will lay off for a while.  I would feel a little bad about it, BUT IT TOTALLY WORKED!  I GOT A HIT FROM LUXEMBOURG YESTERDAY!

2010-01-25

Sorry Sass, I lied to you…

About a year ago, Sass & I were talking and I said, "I won't put ads on my blog until I get like 100 followers."  Well, Sass, thanks to you, and your call out, I went over 100 the other day, but still am running ad free.

The other day, I went over 100 followers.  I'm now @ 106.  That blows me away.  Oh, sure, a couple people are double counted, and a good number of the followers are no longer active.  But still…

106!

I am honestly amazed and honored that each of you comes over here whenever you do.  Thank you very much.  These are the 8 people who pushed me over the brink:

jenn @ Perspective Required Jane226
Momma @ MommaKiss Tara
Melinda Arnold @ Melinda Arnold Stephanie @ Happiness Is...Jesse

M.I.S.

Beth Sudlow

A special shout to M.I.S. (whoever you are, I tried to find you, but your avatar doesn't have a link) who was my 100th.  And a "Hey" to Beth Sudlow, a close friend of mine for +20 years.


The Liechtenstein & Luxembourg chronicles continue.  Since I last posted about them HERE, I still have gotten a hit from either of these countries.  But I did get my second hit from Malta.  Go figure.

I was thinking, "You know, a lot of people might not know much about these countries".  So here is a little info for you.  Hey, mjenks isn't the only one who can edumacate ya.

Liechtenstein is a "principality" ruled by a prince.  Luxembourg is a "grand duchy" ruled by a grand duke, not a 'grand douche' like 'The Situation' from the 'Jersey Shore' show.

Liechtenstein & Luxembourg are both 'land locked'.  This should not be confused with myself & Cora being "lip locked'.

Liechtenstein's unofficial motto is "Meat in the Switzerland / Austria sammich."  Luxembourg's unofficial motto is "No, we aren't Belgians."

Liechtenstein is located totally in the mountains.  Like West Virginia.  And in a strange coincidence, Liechtenstein is the largest PRODUCER of false teeth in the world, a product much in demand in West Virginia. Luxembourg's largest export is T-shirts with the phrase "De-Luxembourg!" emblazoned on the front.

2010-01-21

I Had A Dream*

Wet-Bed

He woke up in a panic @ 4:30 am.

He'd had one of THOSE dreams again.

Terrified, he slowly checked.

Whew!  All clear.

Thinking back on the dream…

They were after him.  He was trying to evade them.

Who? He didn't know.  Why?  He had specific idea.

He was trapped in a basement.  He had to escape.

He wasn't wearing any pants. (Was this is why he was evasive?)

And he had to pee.  Really, REALLY badly.

So he did.  Just started peeing on the basement floor.  And he kept peeing for 5 dream minutes while moving about, plotting his escape.  It was the pee of breaking the seal after being on a bender.  So forceful it stung pleasantly as it erupted out relieving the enormous pressure on the bladder wall.

Filling buckets like a lemonade firehose.

Splashing on the floor.

It was a glorious pee.  Good thing he wasn't wearing any pant (a recurring motif in his dreams.  Shirt? Yes.  Pants? Nope.  Junk dangling in the breeze.)  Wouldn't be able to pee and move with those around his ankles.

Whew, he was relieved to find that he had only relieved himself in the dream.

So far…

And not surprisingly, he got up and peed before going back to sleep.


Have you ever had the "peeing dream"?

* Please note, this really has nothing to do with Martin Luther King, but with an actual dream on Tuesday night.

2010-01-20

What the "L" is going on?

Luxembourg-Hates-Me I still have not gotten hits from Liechtenstein or Luxembourg.

Come on Liechtenstein & Luxembourg! You guys are dead last in the "European Countries That Start With 'L' Visiting Scope-Tech" race.  I've gotten 8 hits from Latvia and 6 from Lithuania!

We all know your mottos:
- Liechtenstein: For God, Prince and Fatherland
- Luxembourg: We want to remain what we are

Those are two proud mottos to live by.  Though, seriously, Luxie (Can I call you "Luxie"?), you are dangerously close to Popeye's "I yam what I yam."


Battle-Ship-TexasSince this is my second "naval gazing" post in a week, I thought I would look to see how people were finding me.  I cherry picked a few of the 100 or so Google searches that have brought people to my blog in the last month.  They are ranked in order most to least common.

BOLD BLUE TEXT = Search / ITALIC TEXT = My Comment

sexy statuesVariations of this were very common.  I only did one post about Marc Sijan around a year ago, and this remains my #1.

love letters by cora scopeThis made me smile.

mammaries, italian food and my little ponyThere were about 4 variations of this. But one of these things is not like the others.

women are the root of all evilAh, I loved THIS post.

elephant sit n spinMan, I don't want to see this.  I'm thinking it's a porn term.

i'm gonna hang my balls on the christmas treeHow you gonna do THAT?!?  And is it gonna hurt?

massive mammaries blogspotLooking for my B( . )( . )Bs post?

needle in my testicles picturesOh, so that's how you are going to hang them on the Christmas tree.

nice assThanks!

peeing santa yard decorationMy mom would be so proud of THIS.

scope keeps shooting to the leftYou saying I'm not hung right?

scope-tech the proposalPeople looking for THIS VIDEO?

sexy cora sandwichNo!  While she has great buns, there will be no Cora sandwich.

she s 16 years old as an alien thats ,my daghter brian shes an alien if she s sneak out i put camara over everywere you have to protect that one on laptop thats urs now that one over there loves me wow - Seriously? I have no idea what this means or how this would get you to my blog, but "wow" is the word.

show my balls No thanks.

sweet action on my ballsNo comment.

2010-01-19

Tech Tuesday - An Incandescent Truth

IT-StoplightThe other day, I was reading about a lawsuit that shows the perils of mucking with things in the name of being "green".

The tragic bit – Person A died when Person B ran a stop sign and T-Boned them.  It had been snowing, and snow had obscured the red light but part of the left turn arrow was showing, so B thought they had the green light.  [I could look this up and give you the facts, and a link and all that, but seriously, would you read it?  No.  So let's both pretend I did the leg work.  If you really care, I read the story in the Chicago Tribune.

See, it turns out, that to save some money on electricity, the city replace the horribly inefficient incandescent bulbs in the street lights with the energy efficient LEDs.  And they don't plan to switch back, because the new bulbs last longer* and cost so much less to operate.

You know how those incandescent bulbs waste electricity, right?  By generating HEAT instead of producing LIGHT.  Heat that, for argument's sake, would melt snow that blew on them.

Oops.  Hadn't thought of that.

And that got me thinking.  With the incandescent bulb taking the place of baby seal clubbers on the environmentalists hit list, what else isn't going to work right?

4 – The Creepy Crawlers Bug Maker Oven
IT-Creepy-Crawler

Most of you don't remember this toy.  You had goo that you put in a tray and turned it into bug and worms.  My nephew had one.  I think it was just a boy version of the next toy.

3 – The Easy Bake OvenIT-EZBAKE

How long do you think it will take to bake your miniature morsels now on the bluish glow of that CFL bulb, little Missy?

Might as well start using mommy's blow dryer.

2 – The Lava Lamp
IT-Lava-Lamp

Ah, mesmerizing mass of molten material, your days are numbered, too.  Those fake "glitter lamps" are just not up to the job.

For the lava lamp to live on, they may need to separate the heating element from the light source.

I suggest LASERS!

 

 

1 – The Bright Idea
IT-Idea

Sorry, bright idea.  You are doomed.  The glowing incandescent bulb that signals the instantaneous flash of inspiration will be no more.

Nope, it will be replaced by a dim glow that slowly warms up to full understanding.  Eventually.

 

 

* Please note, that while wrote this, TWO incandescent recessed lights in my ceiling burned out.  Off to Home Despot to get some CFLs.

2010-01-18

Awards / Follower / Blogworld

Hey all.

First off, sorry I have been a little late acknowledging the awards I've picked up, and my new followers.  Blog got a little away from me between Thanksgiving and New Year's.  Little time to write, and when I did, had some time sensitive stuff to get out.

But now, with the Martin Luther King weekend marking the last holiday I have off until Memorial Day, I thought I would tackle this long overdo post.

AWARDS

The first award to go on the shelf is from Joshua @ The Technical Parent.  Way back HERE he gave me the "I Should Have Been A Stripper Award."

The rules are:

1) Posting the award.

2) Listing 7 personality traits (as evidenced on the blog)

No Trait
1 Creative – How many posts do you have about flying monkeys?
2 Checkbook Activism – My blog raised $50 for breast cancer.
3 Friendly – I find it a little shocking and humbling how many bloggers I consider real and genuine friends.
4 Cora-nated – Can you tell from this blog that I am engaged to Cora?  :-)
5 OCD – I schedule virtually all my posts for 6:30 am.  Not sure why, but I just do.  (That said, this one didn't post at that time.  Murphy strikes again!)
6 Scattershot – One day you may get a post about the wheel falling off on my car.  Another day you may get a story detailing my further journeys with Cora.  And then you may get (NSFW)THIS.
7 Grateful – You readers are the reason I do this.  And I do try to take time out to thank you every once in a while, like today.

3) Pass it on to 7 others.

No Blogger
1 Cora @ Love Letters By Cora.  People, we met because of a STRIPPER POLE for goodness sakes.
2 Gwen @ Everything I Like Causes Cancer who won B(.)(.)Bs in a radio contest.
3 Sass @ Are You Sassified who has been mistaken for an exotic dancer by teenage boys.
4 Sassy Britches @ Well okay, Sassy Britches! for her tale of visiting a strip club.
5 ~E @ *E* Deconstructed for her tale of visiting a strip club.
6 Jan @ Struck By Serendipity had her own "Playboy issue".
7 Lisa @ The Butterfly Farmer (Because she hasn't posted in 3 months, and I miss her)


KaLynn @ Kacklin' With KaLynn also gave me her KaLynn Kackled Award way back HERE.
 


JenJen @ Jen's Voices also gave me her "FROG" Award. (Friend+Blog= Frogs)

Frog-Award


Soda and Candy @ Soda and Candy Stories gave this Christmas (Soda &) Candy Award to all who played in her Mad Blog VII game.

sweet-lollipop-xmas-web 


FOLLOWERS

This can't be right.  I am SOOOOO sorry I've let this get so far behind (and if I miss anybody, I am even more sorry.)  According to Blogger, since I last thanked my new followers, I've added a ton of new followers.

Richard @ The Bewildered Brit @ The Bewildered Brit Occula @ underneath the bunker
barbalutes17 Caffeinated Bliss @ Caffeinated Bliss
Moooooog35 @ Midget Man Of Steel UberGrumpy
Bagel Boy KaLynn @ Kacklin' with KaLynn
Callista @ Down the Rabbit Hole Savvy @ You're Such a Drama Queen
Tami G @ Every day in gray... JenJen @ Jen's Voices
momcat @ Truth is stranger than fiction A Mom on Spin @ ...A Mom on Spin. .
BeckEye @ The Pop Eye Leah Rubin
ahyduk

Zen Mama

Oh, and as I write this, I sit at 99 LISTED followers.  Who will be number 100?  (I know there are people who read but are not listed in the "Followers" widget."


BLOGWORLD

Would You Rather? – I got this game for Christmas and have posted a "Would You Rather" question on my sidebar. 

Would you rather…

Spend your entire life in a room with no windows?

-- or --

Spend your entire line in a glass room where everyone could watch your every move?

Right now, letting strangers watch you poop is winning 80%/20%.  There's still a couple of hours left to vote.

I like this and think I will continue this.  So, sorry you Google Reader folks, you may have to actually visit the blog every once in a while.


Blog Banners – Yes, I change them more frequently than most people change the filter in their Britta pitchers.  I like to mix them up.  I get bored sometimes, and start messing around in Photoshop, and the next thing you know…

What do you think?
Do you have a favorite that you haven't seen in a while?



"Bee Keeping" - Get it?Wedding Bell Blogs – To those who have asked, Cora & I have discussed it, and we will both be keeping our separate blogs after the wedding.  I suspect that while the BLOGGING MATERIAL for each of us will increase as we blend and adjust and live and laugh and learn, the BLOGGING TIME may be reduced.

 


2010-01-15

Making News, Mac News

So, I'm reading the Mac News, the semi-annual news letter from my college, that I got in the mail the other day.  What do I see in the corner of page 10?

MacNews-01

  ZOOOOOM!

MacNews-02

Well I'll be dipped.  They printed one of the administrators blog entries about homecoming, and Cora and I were included.

2010-01-14

Hey! Facebook!

joesperm


"Eric Collins is participating in Retro Week. Change your profile pic to an old picture of yourself and cut and paste this into your status. Let's see how cute/cool/out of touch we all were. C'mon! You probably weren't as cute as I was but it'll be fun anyway!"
You want retro.

You should know better than to dare me.

Talking Tiki & Travel

Where did I leave off?  Oh yeah:

  • January 2nd.
  • Cora's here.
  • It's freezing wicked cold

We spent the day relaxing.  We drove (did I mention it was wickedly cold out?) to the Lincoln Square shopping center area.  We looked at wedding rings.  I saw a very cool one that was actually 3 rings hinged together so they made a "OOO" kind of thing when you spread them apart.  And explained to a 20-Something what a "blog" was.  Weird.

Cora and I hit a few more stores, including Quake.  And if you're wondering, yes, the guy remembers us.

 Tiki-Glass As the evening dawned (WTF?) we headed for the Drysdale's.  Grant Miller was hosting his gala award ceremony at the Hala Kahiki Lounge.  Luckily, it was really just down the road about 15 minutes.

Cora and I got there a little before everybody else.  I had a Mai Tai.  Not it that glass.  That's from Bob Chinn's.  And I must tell the folks at Hala Kahiki, keep practicing.  Cora had a hot chocolate to warm her up.  And maybe a smooch or two.  That helped us get our blood pumping.

 

TIKI-01Eventually, the rest of the crowd showed up and we got a table.  I, too, forgot to pull out my camera.  Epic fail.

Another epic fail?  Cora and I didn't realize that the Hala Kahiki Lounge doesn't serve food.  Sure, there were pretzels on the table, but seriously?  After a few hours, hunger took over, and Cora and I drove off into the tundra in search of food.  Unfortunately, every time I tried to turn toward my place, the left turn was denied.  Eventually, we ended up all the way down at the Denny's down by Maywood Park Race Track.

And that's when I realized that I left my scarf back at the bar.  D'oh!

For being about the only people at the Denny's at 11:30 in the morning off season for the race track, I had to hunt down our waiter to get our bill.  Then it was back to the bar, where no one even realized that my scarf was still on the chair.

TIKI-02Sunday was a sad day.  But one good thing happened on the way down to state:  My car hit "44444".  I would try to tell you that I pulled over to take this picture, but as you can see, I was doing 65 mph at the time.  But that wasn't the only interesting car bit to happen.  As we followed my parents out looking for an antique mall, a cop pulled in between my dad's van and my car.  Light's flashing, dad got pulled over.  Cora and I pulled into a parking lot up the street while the cop wrote him a ticket.

Moral of the story:  If you move, be sure to contact the state to get your plates renewed.  They don't forward that stuff.

His plates were 2 years out of date.  $75 fine and he had to get a new sticker.  Turns out, he came out ahead on the deal.

TIKI-03But then something sad happened.  No, not the pink liner of Cora's coat, silly.  Dropping her off at the airport.  We smooched in the car for about 45 minutes, but then it was time to get her bags checked.  The line at the SkyCap was about 300 people shorter than inside, so we braved the cold.

Once again, smooching to stay warm.

Eventually, though, it was time to say, "See you at the end of the month" at the entrance to the security lines, where she disappeared into the throng.  She would fade in/out of view, but finally it was fade out.

And she was gone.

But guess what? 

2010-01-12

New Year's State Of Mind

New Year's Eve Day, Cora and I woke up at the crack of 10:00 and ran out to run a few errands in preparation for having some folks over later in the day.

Our first destination was Target.  We needed to pick up a few items, and also there's also a nice view of down town from the top of the parking garage.  But, it was overcast and you couldn't see down town.  (**FAIL**).

But we did a little shopping, and saw something very confusing:

NYE-07 Seriously?  It was December 31!  And 8 racks of swimsuits?  Really?

After getting home from shopping, doing a little cleaning, and party prep, some friends / neighbors came over.  People came.  People left.  Glasses were filled.  Glasses were emptied.  One glass met an ignoble end.  We played a little with the "Would You Rather…" cards.  Played a lot of 80's music on the cable TV.

NYE-03

Cora & I counted down to midnight.

And we share the first of many, many New Year's kiss.

We were having such a good time, that I only managed to take this one picture of my co-worker and her husband.  People left around 2:00 and we crashed out around 2:30.

NYE-06 On New Year's Day, we went back to the target rooftop and got some good shots.

NYE-05It was then time to head downtown for a little shopping.  The sole on one of my pair of work shoes blew out, and Nordstrom's was having a sale.  (I saved about $50 on the shoes.)  Kitty-Korner from Nordstrom's is P.F. Chang's.  It is one of my favorite restaurants, and Cora had never been.

And I was Jonsing for some of their lettuce wraps and Mongolian beef.

The funniest part?  My NYE-08fortune cookie fortune.  Seriously?  That's my fortune?  Here I am, sitting in a nice restaurant, sharing a nice meal on a very domestic day with my fabo fiancĂ©e and I get "The love of your life will appear in front of you unexpectedly!"

So, I played Peek-A-Boo!

NYE-04And I couldn't let this blog title go without hitting you with my absolute favorite Billy Joel song. 

(And I have never even been to New York City.)