Upon My Decree…

Cora – Meet the Parents

Sunday we did not have as much time to lounge around as we did Saturday.  It was "Meet the Parents" Day.After calling my parents to confirm the meeting time, Cora and I once again piled in the car and hit the road.  My parents live in another part of the state, and it's about a 3 hour drive.  We chose a meeting place with good food and that was about 1:15 for me and 1:45 for them.

We pulled in to R Place about 10:00, and parked right behind my parent's van.  Time to face the music.

I had finally disclosed to my parents how Cora and I met through blogging and not through a dating site.  Had to come clean before the big intro.  It was going to come out eventually.

Mom and Dad were already sitting in a corner booth when we got there.  The meeting went well.  Mom didn't ask any questions I was dreading and Dad behaved.  We talked about Cora, and her life, but mom also filled me in on family news, etc.  All-in-all not nearly as scary as I was afreaded it would be.  After breakfast, we all took a walk around Wal-Mart, because that's what you do in rural Illinois to pass the time.

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When we got back to my place, Cora and I crashed out for a couple of hours, and then headed down to the Taste of Chicago, our annual 4th of July food fest.  (It runs for 10 days surrounding the 4th.)  The crowd was decent, even though there were a lot fewer vendor than in past years.  I really enjoyed the alligator sausage.  Cora was able to sample the Ricobene's Breaded Steak Sandwich that I mentioned HERE.  (FYI – If you Google Image Search "ricobene's breaded steak sandwich", that post is the 5th link on the page.  I'm just saying.)  But I think her favorite was the Eli's cheese cake.

And then came the trip home…

Cora – Meet the Friends – II

Saturday came and was a gloriously beautiful day.  Cora and I lounged around and just enjoyed an unhurried morning.  We'd wake up.  Kiss.  Go back to sleep.  Wake up.  Kiss.  Go back to sleep.  For the first time, no place to rush off to.  Nothing to do.  Just to be.

But then Cora got a hunger.  A desire for something that was denied her on her last visit.  The girl NEEDED a CHUBBY WIENER.

Across the street from the Chubby Wiener is a chunk of the Berlin Wall.  Yes, the real wall.  You can sure tell which was the East German and West German sides of this thing.  The area has a very strong German heritage, and the section is located in the Western Brown Line train station.  It's kind of in a corner and as easy to miss, as any 20 ft tall slab of reinforced concrete is going to be. 

And then we went shopping on Lincoln Ave., and Cora found… well, I'll let her tell that part of the story.

Eventually, we were off to visit my friends Laura and John for a party at their place.  While still TECHNICALLY in the "Chicagoland Area", it did take about an 1:45 to get out there.  But, Cora and I chatted and listened to Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince on CD in preparation for the movie coming out in just a few days.

As we pulled up and were going to park the car, Cora shouted, 'There's GWEN!' (She even managed to include the link in her voice.  Girl's got mad skills.)  They hit it off and chatted quite a bit.  But oddly, things got very hush-hush when ever I got near. 

It was a great party, and plenty of other college people showed up.  And there was even a couple there from a Seattle suburb that was pretty near Cora.

At 10:00, Cora and I decided to turn into pumpkins and head back home.  The drive was fine except it got a little sleepy the last 10 miles or so, but we made it home without incident.

We needed our sleep, because the next morning, I was going to introduce Cora to my parents.

Cora – Meet the Friends - I

Since some of you are new, a quick recap:

I met Cora in the blogosphere in December, and the first comment I ever left her was that I wanted to hide a spy cam in her house, so I could watch her doing erotic exercises.  Obviously, she could not resist my charms, and we started flirting on line.  Then flirting via email.  Then flirting on the phone, until finally we met at the end of April when I flew to Seattle.  She flew here in May.  And she just flew back in last Friday.  (I will be heading out there at the end of July, for those of you keeping score.)

Cora landed here on Friday afternoon, and after much public kissing, even on the "L", we made it to Giordano's for pizza.  On her last visit, Cora at "Chicago Style" deep dish pizza @ Gino's East, so this time I thought I would treat her to "Chicago Style" thin crust pizza.  We also planned to meet up with two of my friends who live in the neighbor, and who met at a party I had about a year ago, my buddy, "Howard" and his girlfriend, who is a follower that will not be named, unless she chooses to out herself.  They are both super cool people.

Super cool people who are incapable of telling time or answering their cell phones / BlackBerry devices.

They were snogging sleeping and got to the pizza place a little late.  Which was fine.  It let Cora and I talk, and split an order of mozzarella sticks.  And let's face it, issue forth with the Public Displays of Affection.  She's beautiful, and smart, and sexy, and has a beautiful smile, and her lips taste of blueberries.  Why WOULDN'T I want to kiss her?

They eventually show, and the 4 of us sit around, eating pizza (50% sausage / 50% pepperoni), and chatting and having a grand time.  I have no photographic evidence to support this, so you are just going to have to trust me.

It was a short drive from the pizza place to my condo.  We pulled into the garage (more PDA), got Cora's bags out of the hatch (more PDA), took the elevator up to my floor (extreme PDA).  The front door was opened, Cora was carried across the threshold.  Once the door was closed and locked, Cora grabbed my XX01XX and gave it a enthusiastic XX02XX .   We XX03XX  each other as we stumbled into the XX04XX  with XX05XX  and XX06XX  flying.  I XX07XX her sexy XX08XX as we XX09XX on to the XX10XX  and proceeded to XX11XX  like it was going to be outlawed.

*** [Hidden Text] The "Fill In The Blank" goes as follows:
XX01XX = HAND
XX02XX = SHAKE
XX03XX = SEREDANED
XX04XX = LIVING ROOM
XX05XX = COMPLIMENTS
XX06XX = PRAISE
XX07XX = GAZED LOVINGLY INTO
XX08XX = EYES
XX09XX = LOGGED
XX10XX = INTERNET
XX11xx = COMMENTED ON BLOGS

Sorry, not details here.  Use your naughty little imaginations.  Now double it.  You're still not there, but getting closer. ***

Scope & Cora: Face to Facebook

I was tagged with this Facebook quiz by Sass a while ago.  Thought it would be interesting to take with Cora.  So, here are our answers.  You can see we match up fairly well.

Rules:

1. You can ONLY answer Yes or No.
2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone  comments and asks!

Question	Scope	Cora
Kissed any one of your Facebook friends?	Yes	Yes
Been arrested?	No	No
Been in a fight?	Yes	Yes
Fallen fast for someone?	Yes	Yes
Regretted a relationship?	No	Yes
Been in a tornado?	No	No
Fallen asleep at work/school?	No	Yes
Ran a red light?	Yes	Yes
Experienced love at first sight?	Yes	Yes
Totaled your car/motorbike in an accident?	No	Yes
Been fired from a job?	No	No
Fired somebody?	No	No
Sang karaoke?	Yes	No
Pointed a gun at someone?	No	No
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?	Yes	Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose?	No	No
Caught a snowflake on your tongue?	Yes	Yes
Kissed in the rain?	No	No
Swam in the ocean?	Yes	Yes
Been to a concert?	Yes	Yes
Laughed till you cried?	Yes	Yes
Sang in the shower?	Yes	Yes
Smoked a cigar?	No	No
Sat on a rooftop?	Yes	Yes
Smuggled something into another country?	No	No
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes?	No	No
Broken a bone?	Yes	No
Skipped school?	No	Yes
Got a speeding ticket?	Yes	No
Eaten a bug?	No	Yes
Sleepwalked?	No	No
Walked a moonlit beach?	No	No
Rode a motorcycle / dirt bike?	Yes	No
Dumped someone?	Yes	Yes
Seen a baby born?	No	Yes
Lied to avoid a ticket?	No	No
Ridden in a helicopter?	No	No
Shaved your head?	No	No
Played a prank on someone?	Yes	Yes
Hit a home run?	No	No
Felt like killing someone?	Yes	Yes
Cross dressed?	No	Yes
Been falling down drunk?	Yes	No
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry?	Yes	Yes
Marched/Protested?	No	No
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets?	Yes	No
Puked on an amusement ride?	No	No
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something?	Yes	Yes
Been in a band?	Yes	No
Knitted or crocheted?	Yes	Yes
Been on TV?	No	No
Shot a gun?	Yes	Yes
Skinny dipped?	No	No
Gave someone stitches?	No	No
Eaten whole jalapeno pepper?	Yes	No
Ridden a surfboard?	No	No
Drank straight from a liquor bottle?	Yes	No
Had surgery?	No	Yes
Streaked?	No	No
Taken by ambulance to hospital?	No	No
Tripped on mushrooms?	No	No
Passed out when not drinking?	No	Yes
Peed outside?	Yes	Yes
Donated blood?	No	No
Grabbed electric fence?	Yes	No
Eaten alligator meat?	Yes	Yes
Eaten cheesecake?	Yes	Yes
Eaten a kids' Halloween candy?	No	Yes
Killed an animal when not hunting?	Yes	Yes
Peed your pants in public?	No	No
Snuck into a movie without paying?	No	No
Written graffiti?	Yes	Yes
Still love someone you shouldn't?	No	No
Think about the future?	Yes	Yes
Been in handcuffs?	No	No
Believe in love?	Yes	Yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed?	Yes	Yes

TGIF

Short little note:  In case you haven't heard, Cora is in town this weekend.

So is Gwen.

They will meet on Saturday, at the party where I met Gwen a year ago, which started the chain of events for us meeting.

I'm so FREAK'N HAPPY!

You Cover Shipping. I'll Cover Handling! – NSFW

TECH THORSDAY!

Yesterday I was reading my little tech-blog Gizmodo, when I ran across an earth shattering, game changing scientific breakthrough that I knew I had to tell me readers about.

Especially the ones with really large B(.)(.)Bs.

I know you all remember Gwen's hug me pillow to help women sleep.

And I found a couple of B(.)(.)B pillows and reported them HERE.

But somehow, I think a device that gives the phrase 'the boob tube' all kinds of new meaning trumps them all.

Yup.  That is just a big pile of AWESOME right there.  Okay, TWO piles of awesome in her case.  And Kush Support has a website, so you know it's legitimate.

If any of you ladies out there have tried this or similar products, feel free to pass along any testimonials, especially if that includes pictures or videos.  Not for my viewing pleasure, of course.  But in the name of SCIENCE, woman.  And if you are not in the target demographic for this product, you can still take pictures of things betweens your boobs and send them along.  Unlike those snobs at Kush Support, Scope-Tech does not discriminate where B(.)(.)Bs are concerned.

And see ladies, when your boyfriends, husbands, bum you picked up from the alley and took home, etc. asked you to do THAT ONE THING, they were really thinking about your health and well being.

Wordless Wednesday – Little Green Balls of Death

Phrom Pike's Place Public Purveyors of Phenomenal Phood, pSeattle.

I've Been Sleeping Around

Two weeks ago Sunday, I did laundry, stripped the bed and washed the sheets.  I have many, many sets of sheets, but didn't get around to putting sheets back on the bed right away.  I was solidly in the middle of my Potter-mania and had to get back to the story.  Midnight rolled around, and I walked into the bedroom, looked at the unmade bed, set the alarm, and turned on my heals, and crashed out in the guest room.

Same thing happened Monday.

Last Saturday, I tore my bed apart, trying to figure out why it is squeakier now that it was in my old place.  (Oh hush!  :-)  )  It turns out that one of the wooden supports that the slats sits on is cracked a little, and a little loose.  I'm going to need to get that fixed soon.  But, Saturday night, there I was, crashed out on the guest bed again.

I have been in my condo almost one year now, and until Cora came to visit in late May, I had never slept in the guest room.  Not once.  Now I have slept there 4 nights.  3 within the span of a week.

Is this normal, or am I just a lazy freak who should learn to make his bed as soon as he strips it down?  Sometimes I will crash out on my couch for the night, just because.

Do you ever sleep sleep somewhere other than your bed just to mix it up a little?

[***UPDATE*** For those of you reading this in Reader, I have added a little poll to my sidebar in the blog.  If you wouldn't mind popping over and voting, that would be awesome, thanks.]

Why? Oh Why? Oh Ming!

Since I started this blog 7 1/2 months ago, every single one of posts has had something in common.  Not a single one of them has been read in the state of Wyoming.

Not one.

I think I know why this is.  Basically, no one lives there.  It is 50th in population.  North Dakota has more people!  I grew up down state in Illinois, and one of the neighboring towns was 'Wyoming'.  (I even took my driver's test there.)  The STATE of Wyoming has 375 times the population of a dying, backwater TOWN.  Granted, I haven't gotten a hit from there, either, but still.

So, to entice some hits from the hicks:

• Wyoming: An armpit, and a Jackson Hole
• Wyo Ming: Yao Ming's brudder.
• Wyoming? Wy-not-oming?
• Cheyenne puts out more than Helena.
• Wyoming rocks.
• Wyoming sucks.
• Wyoming: A state of denial.
• Wyoming: Like Colorado, but without Denver.  Or the Coors.  Or the award winning bloggers (1, 2, etc.).  Or indoor plumbing.

And if this does the trick, I am so going after Luxembourg next.  Both people that live there haven't visited, either.

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The other day, I did a little blog-keeping (and meant the 'Wyoming' rant to be part of that, but forgot it.)  Well, since then, I would like to welcome 3 new followers:

Alan	Blogs: Robot Nine, Alan Around the World, Photobesity.  Robot Nine & Photobesity are where you'll hind stunning photography, or an amusing gallery of pix.  Alan Around the World is where you will find Alan, as he prepares to head out on a trip around the world.  On a bike.
Chadwick	Blogs: None.  He's a Cabbage Patch doll for crying out loud.  I send him a Christmas card every year.  We (Cora & I) have plans to meet the little tater's mom out for pizza on Friday.
mylittlebecky	Blogs:  I'll Go Eat Worms – She knows that aliens love her.  They told her.  By writing it on a strangers car.  Sorry Becky, that was just me having a laugh with you.  When aliens want to say they love you, they don't use a Beretta.  The use a PROBE!

I do appreciate my followers and regular readers.  In the time that I have been blogging, I have come to consider many of you as 'friends', a few of you as 'close friends', and one of you as my 'girlfriend'.

So yeah, thanks.

And I Am Out Of Here!

Catch you all on Monday!

Too beautiful to be inside!

The Making of An Award (or Three)

Nikki, over at This Genius is Insane has been giving out awards like  a Super Ninja Monkey recently, and I promised her something special.  Oh, I could just give her and award for giving out awards, but I thought I'd first make her (and all y'all) suffer a little and walk you through some of the creative process that I go into to award design.

The First award I ever gave Nikki was the O.B.A.M.A. (One Bad Ass Mother Award).  This is very similar to Candy's 'Bad Ass Mother Of The Year', but it was brown, as you can see, which matched Nikki's old blog template.  But she changed her template, so I dropped a purple filter on it and Bob's your uncle.  But, she lost the link and has been stuck with the brown one until now.  (Note: Awards have been resized to fit this page.  Please follow links for better copies.)

But then, I saw Nikki dropping awards on people like it was the Grammy's or something (seriously, a different Grammy for 'Album of the Year' and 'Record of the Year'?), so I knew I needed to re-award her for her generosity.  I was thinking 'awards ceremony' and a 'woman at microphone' and found this picture. It was OK, but I knew there was something better out there if I just looked hard enough.

Turns out I was wrong.  It wasn't 'out there' but 'in here' as in my PowerPoint's clipart library.  It's done in the same style as Sass's birthday card, but you can see the problem.  The red shirt would totally clash with Nikki's color scheme.  I was able to correct for that, but then it came to the font.  I wanted something that said 'celebration'.  That said 'winner'. I went with a 'Stars and Stripes' font, a little outlining and edging on the layers to set it off and POW.  Plus, I call Nikki my 'mistress'.  Don't you wish you had a hot 22 year old Ninja Monkey Mistress, too?

So, congratulations, on being named 'Mistress of Ceremonies'.  But I'm not done.  See, Google-ing 'Mistress of Ceremonies' led to 'Dominatrix' quicker than you can imagine.  (Well, may not YOU, we all know YOU'RE Google-ing habits).  I hit a couple of bits of art that I thought might work:

 

Chillie Willie got dumped pretty quick.  The 'Mistress' was a little too 'Low Res' for my needs, but 'Pinki' there had merit.  The halo & handcuffs.  Nice.  But since this was supposed to be Nikki, I knew I needed to work on the hair.  I tried to take it brown, but the best I could do was this, and the green wasn't working for me.  I really liked the black and white of the 'Mistress' and I suppose I could have tried to black and white 'Pinki' but there was one more picture to try.  Originally I wasn't sure about it, either.  Super sexy, for sure, but how was I going to incorporate that into an award.  What type of font would go with that?  Obviously something that kind of looked she's carved it out with the whip would be alright.  I settled on Chiller after discarding quiet a few.  Then It was time to take the text and  bend it like Beckham.  But I still needed a border.  I've over done the re-colored 'fire' outer glow on previous awards, so I thought I would echo the award she game me.  Imitation is the highest form of flattery, and I ended up with this: So, Nikki, two, two, two awards for you.  One kind of nice and sweet, and the other 110% bad ass.  I think they both fit you perfectly.

** Ooops, was wondering why I hadn't gotten any comments yet.  Turns out you need to hit the "Publish" button.  :-)  Gonna be one of those days.

A Little Blog-keeping Is In Order

I have been neglecting a little blog-keeping for far too long.  I let it go, and *POOF* suddenly there's a lot of business that need attended too.

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First off, I would thank the followers who have decided to give me the vote of confidence and clicking the "follow" button.  So with that, I'd like to welcome:

Grant Miller	Call Me Cate	Peggy
SkylersDad	phatmama	Angela
YOU?	Mary@Holy Mackerel	YOU?

Thank you all.  I do appreciate it, even if I don't stop by as often as I'd like to.

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Secondly, I would like to thank Nikki form This Genius Is Insane.  She gave me this award YESTERDAY.  She's scoping me out.  And I like it!Nikki, thank you so, so much.  As you can see, I've already added it to my sidebar.  I am working on a little idear that's rolling around inside my head.  It hasn't exactly cooked long enough, and I don't want this to go off half baked, so you'll have to wait just a bit longer.

I'm evil like that.

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A Very Harry Situation

When Cora was here for a visit a few weeks back, she left me a little present. It started as a slight itch, but has become such a burning that I've had a hard time sleeping the last few nights.

J.J. get your mind out of the gutter, right this instance. She loaned me her unabridged Harry Potter books on CD.

Prior to this, I'd had as vague of a notion about the books as it is possible to have as a guy my age who is not routinely around kids can have. I knew what it was, I knew the general story theme, knew that the author went from dirt poor to being richer than the Queen of England, and had seen probably 15 minutes total of the first movie somewhere, sometime. I'd had a number of work friends read them and love them, I just read much. Never have. I'm a slow reader with a short attention span. I got a 512 page book from my brother for Christmas. It's part of the Dune series. I have read all the Dune books so far (I think that's 15 or so.). And I'm on page 172. Since Christmas.

But this audio book format has some serious merit for me. First and foremost, it takes out the speed thing. Plus, it's a different concentration level. I wouldn't want to have READ Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone driving to/from St. Louis. And it is easier to deal with during the commute or while doing routine tasks at work.

But, I will admit that my OCD did kick in. I started listening to them on the way down to Gwen's birthday party on May 30. I finished them up on June 15. 17 days. Including about 40 hours in the last 72. So, if you've noticed a little drop off in my blogging, Facebooking, sleeping, etc. I hope this explains where I have been and what I have been doing. But I feel like the Imperius Curse has lifted, and I'm walking out into the sunshine now, blinking, wondering where the time has gone.

But I really did enjoy the books. Highly engrossing. And having seen all the props at the Museum of Science and Industry a month ago, it was really easy to visualize what they were talking about.

Certainly, I have questions, but when dating someone with an encyclopedia knowledge of the subject, they are easily answered, if the answers are out there.

The answers are out there? Maybe I should Netflix the X-Files next.

We're A Bunch Of Filthy Lyres

There was an article in the Tribune the other day about a blogger who had been less than honest on her blog.  You can read the full story HERE, but the gist is that a blogger was not accurate.  She was telling the tale of a troubled pregnancy that was not.  Though it was somewhat based on a pregnancy she had just a few years ago.

I'm not going to revile her and what she did.  I am going to wonder, a little jealously, how a blogger that only started in March got 50 comments on her first post, and another post got nearly 1,000,000 hits recently.

I'm not going to condemn her.  Who hasn't "embellished" their blogging personalities a little?

- I only occasionally talk "Tech"

- I doubt Dr. Zibbs is really a doctor.  And I seriously doubt that he's a blue yak. 

- There are certain things Gwen likes that don't cause cancer.  I meant "monkeys" you dirty minded people.

- Candy doesn't post daily.

- Cora rarely writes love letters anymore.