Angus: A Load of B.S.?

The other day, I noticed that McDonald's pulled their Angus burgers off their menu in flavor of some doctored up Quarter Pounders.  Good.

Because, seriously, an Angus burger makes as much sense as a Kobe Beef Hotdog.

And what is "Angus" vs. "Black Angus" vs. "Certified Angus".

First off, Angus is a breed of cattle raided for their beef.  (As apposed to dairy cattle, which are raised for their milk.)  There are plenty of other breeds of beef cattle, like Simmental, Hereford, and Limousins.  And there are actually 2 Angus: Red & Black.

Angus does not denote quality.

Basically, for a cow to be Angus beef, it needs to be at least 51% Angus.  That's it.  Same for Black Angus, it has to be 51% black.

Guess what?  Most beef cattle in the United States meet this criteria.  Most of your USDA graded meat is Angus or an Angus mix (if hamburger).

To be "Certified Angus Beef" the cow must be at least 51% black, "exhibit Angus influence", and meet these 10 criteria:

• Modest or higher degree of marbling
• Medium or fine marbling texture
• "A" maturity (about 9 – 30 months)
• 10 to 16 square-inch rib-eye area
• Less than 1,000-pound hot carcass weight
• Less than 1-inch fat thickness
• Moderately thick or thicker muscling
• No hump on the neck exceeding 5 cm (2")
• Practically free of capillary rupture
• No dark cutting characteristics
• Usually black or red in color

(That's right, "Certified Angus" is racist, and prohibits Red Angus from being included.)

So, with "Certified Angus Beef", you're getting some tender, young, well marbled (juicy) beef.  Which is important for steak, but not as important for something processed thru a meat grinder.

And with "USDA Prime" you're getting some tender, young, well marbled (juicy) beef that may well be Angus.  Without the marketing hype.

The skill of the chef plays a huge part in how the steak turns out.  A hack can turn the best steak in the world into inedible shoe leather and a chef can turn an average piece of meat into a fabulous dish.  And if you want to grill a juicy burger, just go with the 75% lean all-ready.  Save the low fat stuff for later.

So, does Angus really matter?  Maybe.  If you have super tasted buds, a discerning palate, and a trained chef to expertly prepare it.  Otherwise, Prime is prime, Choice is second choice, and Select isn't.

Now, let the grilling begin.

So, REALLY, Don't Tug On Superman's Cape. REALLY

I haven't seen the movie yet, but I enjoyed this scientific explanation of what would actually happen if Superman hit you in the face as hard as he could.

Spoiler:  It's REALLY bad for you.

And everyone in the metro area.

Have a good weekend and appreciate Dad while you're at it.

Friday Funny–Sad Dog Diary

Okay, yesterday I was a little grim, and at the time of writing this, 0 Comments.  So, I figure I'd lighten things up a little and start your weekend off right.  If these videos don't set you up for a good weekend, I think your funny bone might be defective.

You MUST have the sound on, so if you are at work, put some head phones on.

The line "Cat says this is how the devil buys souls..." killed me.  Just killed me.

And I love how people are referred to as "the Authorities" by the cat.

Have a good weekend.

People, I Give Up… (NSFW)

Okay, so recently I've seen the following headlines that have just made me really wonder about humanity:

What do you think:

• Man Charged With Having Sex With Pit Bull At City Pound

• Teen Sues United For Failing To Stop Masturbator

I mean seriously people, what the hell?

But seriously, what the hell is wrong with people these days?  Every day, you read another story about someone doing something incredibly bizarre and self centered.  Is it me?  Has this stuff always been going on and I just missed the stories?  Am I just a grumpy old man?  Or is humanity just sliding down hill?

---

Okay, having sex with dogs and masturbating in public in front of 17 year old girls are both sick and wrong, and nothing to joke about, but…

• I thought pit bulls were supposed to be be vicious and fearsome creatures, but this one must have been pretty docile.
• When this dude says, "My girlfriend is a real dog", he meant it.
• Talk about "Man's Best Friend"
• Also, I didn't think they gave out blankets on flights anymore.
• And that puts a new spin on "Flying the Friendly Skies" and "Rhapsody in Blue".

---

You Ate The What?

Recently, I've been seeing poster outside of our local KFC with this red head gal on it.

But I haven't been exactly reading it correctly.  This is what one of there on-line ads saying, "I ATE THE BONES":

But this is what I see…

"I ATE THE BONE!"

And of the girl were better at eating the bone, maybe she would have gotten a decent engagement ring.

Just sayin'.

You're Like One Of The Family… DOLLAR

(This is not a sponsored post.)

Do you have a Family Dollar near you?

We have one just about a block away, and we love it.

It's not like you would want to use it as your primary store, but it makes a great backup when you need to run out and grab something and get back in less than 10 minutes.  Without starting up the car.

Mother's Day morning, the daughter was feeling a little punky, so I ran out to Family Dollar to get some OJ to get some vitamin C into her.  I got a bottle of Tropicana Pure Premium pulpless, a small packet of Betty Crocker cookie mix that maid 18 small little cookies, and a box of Imperial margarine (I wasn't sure we had enough butter to make the cookies) for under $7.

Okay, so I was supposed to get ice cream, and I forgot, but fresh baked chocolate chip cookies comes close.

As I was walking out, another couple was in there, and this is what I heard:

• Man to cashier – Holding up one of the GIANT greeting cards – "Are these $8?"
• Cashier to man – "No.  $3"
• Man to woman – "We should totally get it then."
• Woman to man – In a well practiced bitchy tone – "Well, hold it then."
• Woman to man – Continuing to emasculate him in public – "Don't bend it!"

And that's when the door closed behind me, and I thanked God that Cora and I are a good shopping team.  I was home sick on Friday, and we still went grocery shopping and had a good time doing it.

I think one of the reasons I kind of like the Family Dollar is that it reminds me of the Jupiter store (a bare bones K-Mart division at the time) from my youth.  And that reminds me of the time that my mother accidentally got trapped in the changing room at Jupiter and had to scream for help. 

Happy Star Wars Day: May The 4th Be With You

I found the below little video a couple of weeks ago, but thought I would save it for "Star Wars Day".  You're welcome.

I hope you enjoyed it, and May the 4th be with you.

Previous Star Wars posts:

• May 4th 2012
• May 4th 2011
• May The Farce Be With You
• Drunk Ewoks

Shouldn't That Say: "Baby On Board"?

So, The Daughter has started the driving portion of Driver's Ed.  After a couple of trips out driving, with other drivers FREAKING her out, we asked her if she would like us to get some "Student Driver" stickers similar to the red "L" plates they use in England.  She said it would give her peace of mind, so off to the internet we went, and eventually found a nice 3 pack on e-bay.

Now, remember, I grew up in the country.  I was driving things for years before I got to Driver's Ed.  Cars, trucks, tractors, riding lawn mowers, you name it, so when it came to to drive in school, it wasn't THAT big of a deal.  For The Daughter, that's not exactly the case.

And as I noted back HERE, man have the rules changed for getting her license.

We've been trying to find "the road less traveled" for her to practice.  We've found some local business parks that are pretty empty after hours and on weekends.  We've also been to the cemetery a couple of times.

But, eventually, you've got to get them out into the real world of traffic.  So we've done both the neighborhood driving and out on the main streets.  Trying very hard to remain calm while saying things like:

• "You can move over to the left a little." Translation: "Move over!  You are 3 inches from taking out the driver's windows on those parked cars."
• "You can start breaking now." Translation: "HIT THE D@MN BREAK!"
• "You can accelerate a little." Translation: "Stop idling and hit the gas."

So, she'd had maybe 4 of her required 50 hours in when I decided it was time to get her some real driving time.  Over spring break, we were in St. Louis, and heading north to my parent's house for Easter.  So, when we got to my college town, she and I switched seats, slapped on the magnets, and she headed off on the country highway that I've driven many, many times.

But never so nerve-racking.

And I've had a FREAKIN' WHEEL fall off my car on that drive [LINK].

To be honest, she did a pretty good job, but nothing in my life has prepared me for sitting shotgun next to to someone driving 55 mph for the first time.  My butt cheeks were clenched so tight the whole 2.5 hour drive, I probably pooped a diamond the next day!

She's now up over 10 hours.  We're working on her spending too much time at/in intersections and breaking soon enough so she can stop in a gentle, controlled manner vs. having to break hard when she's about to slam into the car stopped in front of her.  And then there's the auto-kinesthetic sense.  (Knowing where the car is in space around her when driving and cornering, etc,.)

We've tried night driving once, and she needs 9 more hours of it before going for her license.  But considering how it went, yeah, we're going to save those until closer to the end.  But, since she can't go for her license until December anyway, we've got time.

But as I keep reminding her when she kicks herself for not being perfect.  "Driving is a skill.  You have to practice a skill to get better at it."

And I'm sure she'll get there.

The SS YouTube

I learned a cool trick the other day, and thought I would pass it along.

So, the Daughter really loved "Drew Cary's Improv-A-Ganza".  She's got about 20 episodes sitting on the DVR (eating up about half the space).  And recently, the DVR has been acting up, rebooting a few times a day.  So, I figure this thing is nearing the end of its life, and I really don't want the Daughter to lose the shows she loves.

There's no good way to export them from the DVR, and the thought of trying to video the recordings off the TV onto the video camera doesn't seem great when you think it's going to be over 10 hours, and we live on a busy street, and all you need is for one siren to scream by and it's ruined.

So, I found the episodes on YouTube, but then had to figure out how to copy the videos.  And I really didn't want to do some screen capture software.

And then I learned the "SS" trick.

Take this video here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIaTIrlXcCA

Let's say you want to download a copy of when I proposed to Cora so you have a copy of your very own.  Take the URL:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIaTIrlXcCA

and add an "SS" before the word "youtube" so that it looks like:

http://www.ssyoutube.com/watch?v=PIaTIrlXcCA

You will then go to SaveFrom.net where you have your choice of how to download the file.

I was having some trouble downloading the full 720 versions of the episodes, but then I installed the Chrome plug-in, and it downloaded files like a champ.

Obviously, please respect all copyrights. etc.  But next time you see that cute cat video that you just can't live without, remember the old SS YouTube trick.

A Mistake You Won't Make Twice

I would STRONGLY recommend that you don't leave these two sitting next to each other on your bathroom counter.

I haven't completely made the mistake.

Yet.

I have picked up the Cortizone 10 in the morning with the toothbrush in my hand, but I have yet to make the critical mistake.

I would much rather rub the toothpaste into my winter dried skin.

Egg-asperating!

So, while having an Easter egg hunt around the house yesterday (we will be out of town on Easter Sunday), an egg was found, hidden behind a picture frame.

Neither Cora or I hid an egg back there…

… THIS YEAR.

Yes, that's right, an Easter egg filled with candy has been hiding in the house for  whole year!

Does that speak more to our awesome egg hiding skills or our lack of dusting skills?

We always find a Christmas ornament sometime after we've put all the boxes in storage (this year is was a flashing Rudolph nose that I put on a glass head on my desk), so I think this is really part of that tradition.

What do you think?

Has this ever happened to you?

What the… WHAT!?!

So, Friday night, I was out on my typical Friday night date with my best gal, Cora, and we were having a grand old time cruising up and down the lanes.

Of the grocery store.

Getting steamy in frozen foods and comparing the unit price on Kleenex.  Because that's who we are.

At the checkout counter, the clerk rang up our purchase of like, $160.00 in groceries and I swiped the credit card I always use, and…

What?  I've never had my card rejected before.  Swipe again.  Same thing.

So, I pulls out me debit card which I only use as an ATM card, but the groceries and we head home.

Saturday morning, I called the credit card company to see what was what, and they had flagged some suspicious activity on my card.  $800 at BestBuy.com  A couple hundred at Apple.com.  There were some other on-line shopping, too, but then two that really stood up:  Two dating websites, Zoosk and ChristianMingle.

Yes, you read that correctly.  Someone stole a credit card number and used it to sign up for a Christian dating website.  That's like, begging for the lightening bolt, that is.

Since that is the only credit card I have (Cora has her own), I called my bank to let them know that I would be using my debit card a lot more in the next 7-10 days while I wait for my new card in the mail.  Wouldn't want them thinking that all the new activity on that was fraud and shut me off there, too!

I don't know how they got ahold of my card number.  I haven't done any unusual shopping recently.  Now I need to wait for the new cards, and then hurry up and update all the monthly accounts I have hooked up to my card before I'm late on any of those payments.  And I hope it gets here before we head out on vacation…

I hope whoever it was gets crabs from whoever they scam on the dating sites.

Pillow Talk

Now is when I generate a lot of sympathy for Cora.

So earlier today, we were lying in bed, and she noticed I had a little something on my nose.  Yes, I had a boogie.  So I wiped it off, but then it was on my hand, and I couldn't just rub it off on the sheets, so I found a Kleenex and disposed of if properly.

And then I told her that at least I didn't put the "Boogie In Your Butt".  She had no idea what I was talking about, even when I went Eddie Murphy on her.

And while she confessed to knowing "Fat Bottom Girls" and "Baby's Got Back" she hadn't heard of Bobby Jimmy and the Critters "Big Butt", either.  She must not have been tuning into Dr. Demento in the early 80's.

So, I let the topic drop.

And then decided to share the songs with her via the blog.

Because I'm a punk.

Ooops, My Bad…

Looking over the rules that go with The Daughter's pending driving permit and conditional license, and thinking back 31 years to when I was going thru it, I must confess, we ruined it for everyone.

And I'm okay with that. 

In The News–Politically Incorrect Day

Okay, I know the whole, "innocent until proven guilty" thing.  But come on, Oscar Pistorius did it.  His story has more holes in it than that bathroom door.  I just don't buy shooting thru the door.

And as a guy who get's up to pee in the middle of the night a couple of nights a week (damn old man bladder), I really hoping that I'm not gonna get blasted by the wife while I'm standing there with my shorts pulled down.

And from what I've heard of South African law, his defense doesn't have a leg to stand on. (Oh, boo yourself.)

I know it's a tragedy that a young life was cut short and, lesser so, that an inspiration and a role model for many has fallen so low.  But I can't keep shaking this one thought:

Every time I hear the names "Oscar Pistorius" & "Reeva Steenkamp" I hear "Chris Brown" & "Rihanna".

Is that wrong?

Well that might not be, but this is:

(Stole from Facebook, but I can't seem to find out from who.)