So, you ever have one of those "skin tag" things? You know, one of those annoying little flaps of skin? What did you do ignore it? Take action?
Until very recently (less than 2 hours at the time of writing this) I had a skin tag.
In that crease where your @$$ turns into the back of your leg. I could sort of reach it, butt needed a mirror to see it. It was decent sized. Like a pencil eraser, not one of those little "grain of rice" sized ones.
It's been a pain in the, well, a pain in the place it's located for a couple of years, butt recently, I've decided it needed to go.
So, first we tried freezing it off with liquid nitrogen. That really made it angry and sore.
So Saturday, I tried to take matters into my own hands. With a set of nail scissors.
I got some of it. And a bloody mess with the rest.
So Sunday, Cora and I went to Target and got a more "industrial" set of loppers to take this thing off in one snip.
At least that was there theory.
So, Sunday afternoon, the bravest woman in the world went after the skin tag with the loppers. She wasn't really HAPPY about this, butt she cowgirled up and…
SNIP!
I felt a zing in my leg and knew two things:
- She'd made it thru the nerve core.
- She didn't make it all the way thru.
- It was bleeding pretty good.
- I had forgotten how to count.
Second snip. Nearly Headless Nick was still hanging on.
Third snip: with the skin tag still in the pinch, I jerked away and the little bugger ripped off.
And the blood flowed.
Cora was a bit shaken, butt she performed like a champion. And now that the bleeding has stopped, most of the tenderness has also subsided.
So I only have one question: Can I take the bloody loppers back to Target for a refund? I think the return clerk won't ask too many questions if they look like a murder weapon.
9 comments:
*whimper*
Holy freaking hell. This made me cringe so hard.
I had one that was teeny. I got drunk one night and decided it was horribly offensive and needed to go. My weapon of choice was nail clippers. One clip, smidgen of blood and since I was drunk, it didn't hurt.
Next time get drunk. Or at least let Cora get drunk.
Cora - You were a soldier. Thanks you so much.
V' Vixen - I've given a few the nail clipper treatment in the past, but this one seemed to big and the curve in the clippers seemed like it wasn't going to work right. But maybe with both could have used a shot before and after.
All - As a follow-up, took the bandage off last night and it looks pretty good.
I hope there's no scar.
That would ruin my dream of becoming a butt model.
Ummmm I gotta ask...where was the DOCTOR?? He may need to know about this?
First, ouch. Second, a close relative had a skin tag removed. From his scrotum.
And then I died.
Candy - The Doctor must be on the back 9 or something. Haven't heard from him in a long while.
Joshua - I hope he was endowed enough so they knew to take the right one.
Visions of the Dan Ackroyd as Julia Childs on SNL come to mind.
"Oh I sure nicked the dickens out of that! (spurt, spurt, spurt)
1st of all, LMAO at SkyDad's comment! 2nd of all, thanks(?) for the descriptive snip-by-snip. Good thing I ate lunch hours ago.
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