2011-06-02

What Do You Doo-Doo?

TPThe scene: You get up in the morning and head to the bathroom.  Before showering, you decide that it's a good idea to evacuate the old bowels.  After making your deposit and flushing it down, do you:

A – Perform the standard amount of "paperwork".

B – Just fill out the "short form".  No sense wasting too much paper, you're headed for the shower now anyway.

C – Pull the " 'Bama Bidet" routine, and just clean up in the shower.

Cora and I were lounging around last weekend, and I asked her that very question.

"THE STANDARD AMOUNT!  THE STANDARD AMOUNT!" was her hysterical reply.

Then she paused and asked, "What about you?"

-- Silence --

"You didn't respond right away!  You didn't respond right away!"

I just laid there grinning as she continued to squeal and squirm.

And I never did answer the question.

14 comments:

Joshua said...

Wait...you mean the shower can't also be used for this purpose? Oh shit...

Cora said...

Eww! EWW!! EWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Laura said...

Hi. Long time lurker, first time commenter:
The answer to this question does not bother me as much as how much time I spend pondering the following:

Don't you hate when the urge to go strikes AFTER you shower?

SkylersDad said...

One of my favorite scenes on TV was from the old series "Men behaving badly". Rob Schneider was a guy who lived across the hall from his former roommate who moved in with his new girlfriend. He would ask about all the things that his buddy learned about women from living with one, and his buddy reported that "you know, when they are in the shower and have to pee, they actually get out and use the toilet"!

Funny shit right there, let me tell you...

Scope said...

Joshua - I know. Who knew!

Cora - I'm a turd, ain't I?

Laura - Thanks for dropping me a line, and don't be a stranger.

But to answer your question, yeah, I hate that. When it happens, I may head back thru the car wash!

SkylersDad - I loved that show, and actually remember that scene. And SHHHHHHHHH! I didn't even mention peeing in the shower for a REASON! The wife's gonna FRAK OUT thinkin' 'bout that one.

Cora said...

*feeling the urge to bring bleach into the shower with me*

So. Cal. Gal said...

LMAO @ Laura's comment! LOL! See?

The males in my family wouldn't have answered either. Must be a guy thing.

Sassy Britches said...

O. M. freakin' G. ALWAYS the standard amount. That's what TP is for (aside from...what would have been a shameless plug...but I refrained), so you don't have to touch any turdy bits with hands, soap, washcloths, poofie scrubby thingies, whatever. Cora, bleach the shower. BLEACH IT!!!!

Fresh Garden said...

Conserve the toilet papers, use both sides! :)

Scope said...

SOCiAL-GAL :-) - Yeah, it's a guy thing.

Sassy B. - At least I didn't give Option #4 - The "All In One-der" Hey, the drains all go to the same place, right?

Fresh Garden - Now there's a thought. Also, we have some brown towels, and now I'm thinking...

BeckEye said...

I had an argument with my dad once about how gross it is to pee in the shower, so he told me a story about a friend of his who shit in the shower and just stomped it down the drain with his foot. I never know if my dad is telling the truth or not, but apparently he had some weird friends back in the day.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

HA!
My brother likes to use a baseball analogy:

You can always determine the size by whether or not you need to make a catcher's mitt out of TP.

Candy's daily Dandy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shana said...

You are funny!!
I would have to say that I agree with you!!
That conversation sound like the ones that Rene and I have!!!!!!!