The Town of Springfield is in Jeopardy – Part 2 of 5

Alex - Welcome back to Jeopardy, America's favorite quiz show!  I'm your host, Alex Trebek, and today we return to "Springfield Week". Each day, we'll pick a number of familiar faces from around Springfield to give their responses to the same Answer.

On Friday, after they've all given all of them their chance, we will declare a winner.

And just so you know, just like Vegas, the house wants its cut of any wagering that may be going on.

This week's final Jeopardy is: 

Alex - "This is both a 2007 movie and a description of my next bowel movement."  Up next is everyone's favorite barfly, Barney Gumble.  Barney?

Alex - "Is it 'Things We Lost In The Fire'?"  You flatter me Barney, but I'm no David Hasselhoff.

Barney – ** BUUURP ** You're telling me.  You don't even have a talking car.

Alex – Moving along, you may not know him as "Herschel Shmoikel Pinchas Yerucham Krustofski", but you certainly know him as one of America's 100 favorite clowns, Krusty the Clown.

Krusty – Hey HEY kids!  This counts as an hour of community service, right Trebeck?

Alex - "What Is 'Closing Escrow'?"  Thank you Krusty.  Next up is Springfield's most eligible bachelor, Lenny Leonard.

Alex - "What Is 'Disturbia'?"  Not sure I like how you said that Lenny.  And if Lenny is here, can his good friend Carl Carlson be far behind?

Alex - "What Is 'Red Line'?"  Ummm… Thanks Carl, Patty?

Alex - "What Is 'There will be Blood'*?"  Ummm… Maybe your sister Marge has an idea.

Alex - "Is it 'Good Luck Chuck'?".  Thanks, Marge, and now to the last of the Bouvier sisters, Selma.

Alex - "Is it 'Blood & Chocolate'?".  No wonder you can't seem to keep a husband.  And speaking of your many husbands, next we have Robert 'Sideshow Bob" Terwilliger.

Alex - "Is it 'Love In The Time of Cholera'?".  I'm not sure what that means, but I just love hearing you say it.  And our final entry for the day:  Nelson Muntz.

Alex – "What is 'No End In Sight'?".  True, I've been there after the free tacos at Bahan's.

And that concludes today's entrants.  Tune in tomorrow as 'Springfield Week on Jeopardy' crosses the half way point.

* This is the joke that started this whole mess - Scope

The Town of Springfield is in Jeopardy – Part 1 of 5

Welcome to Jeopardy, America's favorite quiz show!  I'm your host, Alex Trebek, and this week, we are in beautiful Springfield, and we are changing the format around a little.  Every day, we'll pick 9 residents of Springfield to give their responses to the same Answer, and then on Friday, after all 45 of them have had their chance, we will declare a winner.

This show has been pre-recorded, so unlike normal, audience participation are encouraged.

[Editor's note:  That means I already have all 45 jokes scripted, so comment away.  Plus, I really needed to fill this space next to this picture.]

This week's Final Jeopardy answer is:

Alex - "This is both a 2007 movie and a description of my next bowel movement."  Duffman?

Alex - "What is 'I Am Legend'?"  Someone's mother must have potty trained him well.  Next we have Cletus Del Roy Spuckler, a.k.a. "Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel"

Alex - "What is 'Black Snake Moan'?"  Cletus, I really don't want to know.  Next we one of Springfield's youngest residents, little Maggie Simpson.

Alex – "What is 'I Know Who Killed Me'?"  Yes, this Lindsay Lohan vehicle where she tried to recapture her 'Parent Trap' lightning by playing another double role certain did double suck, that's for sure.  Now on to everyone's favorite happening dude, Disco Stu.

Alex – "What is 'Gone Baby Gone'?"  Disco Stu knows his disco stool, that's for sure.  Which brings us to Troy McClure.  You may remember him from such videos as 'Pee Wee Playhouse #137 – The Revenge of Captain Carl' and the plumber with the Ph.D. from Weird Al's 'I Lost On Jeopardy'.

Alex – "What is 'Into The Wild'?"  While our next contestant isn't a Springfieldian, Shary Bobbins is everybody's second most favorite nanny.

Alex – "What is 'Pride'?"  Next up is one of Springfield's favorite legitimate businessmen, Marion Anthony "Fat Tony" D'Amico.

Alex – "What is 'I Want Someone To Eat Cheese With'?"  Mr. D'Amico, I would be honored to pull mozzarella with you any time.  Next up, if he's not "God's right hand man" in this town, he's at least "The cuticle on God's right pinky", Reverend Timothy Lovejoy, Jr.

Alex – "What is 'Atonement'?"  And that brings us to the last of today's players, Dr. William "Groundskeeper Willie" MacDougal.

Alex – "What is 'The Flying Scotsman'?"  Oh course.  Obvious choice, in retrospect.

Tune in tomorrow as Jeopardy takes on more of the fine citizens of Springfield, including the Bouvier sisters.  See you next time.

Painting The Town

This weekend, the family and I hit the road for a little trip down state to meet up with my a large chunk of my dad's family.  In fact, including spouses, significant others, and kids, I think with my dad and his brother's and sister's family, 37 of 43 people showed up.

But I'll talk about that at a later date.

While Cora and I were cruising down the highway, we passed a couple of Sherwin –Williams trucks.  And the lovely lady on my right turned to me and I to her, and I voiced what was inside her head…

In this day and age, is that REALLY the right message you want to be sending?

  It made me instantly think of something like this:  (FYI - Someone beat me to it.)

And then, the dripping red lead me me think of this…

   
I know.  I need help.

East Bound & Down, Loaded Up & Truckin'

Except we're heading south.

And the car isn't loaded yet.

So all ya'll cotton pickers have a good weekend.

10-Roger.

Catch you on the flip-flop.

The Great Mysteries of 1908

In 1908 two truly amazing events occurred.  Neither event has been repeated.

• The "Tunguska Event" when, most probably, an object from space exploded in the air over Tunguska, Russia, knocking over an estimated 80 million trees with a blast between 4 to 30 megatons.
  
• The Chicago Cubs won their second, and final World Series.

The trees have grown back, just like the hopes and dreams of Cubs fans every spring.

By autumn, the trees of Tunguska are still standing tall and proud.

And the Cubs fans start getting ready for football season.

In honor of today being the Cubs' home opener, I must give you one of my favorite Cubs moments of all time.  I remember this event from April 29, 1983.  I heard it played on the radio.  I'm certain is was bleeped, but in my mind, it was unedited.

And with that, I give you the traditional Lee Elia rant.

PLAY BALL!

So, on today, the Cubs home opener, let's salute the ultimate April Fools.  Cubs fans.

Saturday, The Feathers Are Gonna Fly!

In case you were unaware, Saturday, April 2nd is International Pillow Fight Day.

 
To find out if there's going to be a a pillow fight near you, you can can follow THIS LINK.

Or you* can just wail on your spouse when they aren't expecting it.

As long as you aren't married to the Michelle Rodriguez type.  B!TCH IS CRA-ZEE!

(Yes, I know I used this video on Saturday, but since no one reads on the weekends, I'm reusing it.)

* Editor's Note: I said "you" could do it.  I'm not pulling that SH!T on Cora.

SHE.
WILL.
KILL.
ME.

No Doubt – This Is Funny

Sometimes, when you can't decide between jokes, it's best to go with both of them.

  
Of course if you are unaware that the braided Jewish bread, "challah" is pronounced with a silent "c", then the joke isn't nearly as funny.

Back Alley Dealings

Chicago is a city of alleys.

Most every block has a back alley.

Garages are off the alley.

Unsightly power lines run down the alley.

Trash and recycling bins are in the alley.

And so are the scavengers.

Since moving in, Wednesday has been using my old desk chair as her desk chair. It was a nice chair that I got from Crate & Barrel (that's the pic of the floor sample I took back when I was chair hunting). Real wood. Real leather. Tilting.

But, one of the caster wheels was loose. These wheels were designed to screw in, but since it was loose, it worked around and totally stripped the threads and would just fall out. And the wood on the back was wrecking havoc on the window sill behind her desk.

And face it, it's not really a teenager's chair. When I bought it, I had really wanted a chair like the "old school" teacher's chair, but with a green leather seat held on with decorative tacks. (My vision was VERY specific.)

Eventually bought a new chair for my desk that was closer to my vision, and had sent the old one into semi-retirement. Until the girls moved in and my daughter needed a desk chair.

Anyway, the chair's stay up in the majors ended two weekends ago, when Cora and bought a new chair for Wednesday @ Target.

Now, we needed to dispose of the old one. So, Tuesday night around 10:00, shrouded in shadows and mist, I crept out the garage, making sure nobody saw me, and left the chair next to our neighbor's garbage cans in the alley. I dashed back in thru the open garage door, and hit the button. The big door closed, like a theatre curtain closing on the scene.

Wednesday morning around 8:00, as I went work, I looked down the alley, and the chair was gone already.

The scavengers do quick work.

Saturday's Short

It's all fun and games until you cross the line with Michelle Rodriguez and dis Cedric.

I think there might have been a zipper or something on the pillow cover under the pillow case.  Those will sting.