This is very old. But I'm tired and I've got nothing to say, so I am dipping into the old Scope-Tech archives for the first time in forever to post this little mathematical proof that women (except my beautiful, smart, sweet, and charming fiancée, of course) are EVIL.
1) Women require the expenditure of money over time.
2) It is a given that "time is money."
3) It is also a given that "money is the root of all EVIL."
4) Q.E.D. Women are EVIL.