I Am (not) The Stig


A apology. If you're not a fan of the BBC automotive series "Top Gear", this post may not mean a whole lot to you.

But please read it anyway.

The Stig is the show's tame racing driver.  The Stig does not speak.  The Stig never appears out of uniform.  The Stig just drives.  Fast.  And sometimes participates in the challenges as the 'Ace' that sets the mark for the other hosts to beat.

And I am (not) the Stig.  And I will prove it.

      The Scope


     The Stig

Scope-Helmet   Stig

The Stig – Wears a helmet to protect his head while racing cars.

The Scope – Wears a helmet because he is sometimes a danger to himself and to others.

The Stig – Wears a white Nomex racing suit to protect him from a fiery crash.

The Scope – Wear protection around a "fire crotch".

The Stig – Once raced across London vs. men in a car, on a bike, and on a boat.  He used public transportation and finished 3rd.  (Series 10, Episode 05)

The Scope – Once raced down the Thames embankment looking for a pay toilet.  He won that race.

The Stig – Has a fat American cousin.

The Scope – Is a fat American.

The Stig – Drives fancy, exotic cars all over the world ever week.

The Scope – Drives a PT Cruiser around Chicago on weekends.

The Stig – Some say he was the inspiration for the design of the Stormtroopers in Star Wars.

The Scope – Has never been accused of inspiring any sort of fashion statement.

The Stig – Next winter, the Stig will be kept warm at night, snuggling up to a engine block heater in England.

The Scope – Next winter will be kept warm by his own British Thermal Unit.

As you can tell, I am (not) the Stig.  Yeah, I can live with that.


Candy's daily Dandy said...

yeah, but does this "STIG" look that good in a rainbow wig?????

I doubt it.

ps-we once got a PT Cruiser as a rental on vacation and the big joke all week was, "we're crusing around in a PT LOSER"..sorry, you know I adore you...but I had to go there, considering this is a post about a race car driver. Forgive me...The Stig got nothin on you, babe.

mo.stoneskin said...

I love The Stig.

So that was you racing down the Thames clutching your 'fire crotch'. I thought it might have been.

Cora said...

It's true, I am British. I'm just not very good at it.

JenJen said...

Skipped to the comments. Wanted you to know I was here but had no f*cking clue and since you warned me, well, here I am.

J.J. in L.A. said...

I prefer The Scope. White is soooo boring.

SkylersDad said...

I had to race over here (pun intended) after I heard about this post. Well done sir, and I bet you could give either of the James a run for their money, but never the Stig. He is untouchable.

Jan @ Struck by Serendipity said...

As long as The Scope always wears that getup, he will always be better than The Stig.