Newly Defined "High & Tight"

When I saw this ad on my Facebook sidebar, I couldn't butt help to think of Skydad.  No, not in that way.  (Well, not too much anyhow… )

Yes, underwear designed to lift those rusting buns of steel.

And at least it's a "Y" on your @$$.  Because "X" marks the spot.  (Unless you are in to that sort of thing…)

And you don't want that!

From their website:

This one is called "Gigolo Joe"	And for the ladies, this is the "Gia"

As Cora pointed out, that gal doesn't have much of a booty to work with, and I really can't tell that it's doing that much for her.

And, while it's not like having a slap bracelet between your cheeks, I'd be pickin' and diggin' all day long.

Welcome Back To Chicago, Lord Stanley

Congratulations to the Chicago Blackhawks, and well played, Boston.

Jacked Up Commercial

I don't know if they are running this commercial everywhere, so I 've got a couple of questions:

How evil are the parents that after the haircut disaster they:

• They take him to a professional photographer for a portrait.
• They pose him with the missing swath prominently displayed.
• They buy and hang a 6 X 8 picture.
• Provide tacit approval of the younger brother's mockery.

I bet he still wets the bed.

Angus: A Load of B.S.?

The other day, I noticed that McDonald's pulled their Angus burgers off their menu in flavor of some doctored up Quarter Pounders.  Good.

Because, seriously, an Angus burger makes as much sense as a Kobe Beef Hotdog.

And what is "Angus" vs. "Black Angus" vs. "Certified Angus".

First off, Angus is a breed of cattle raided for their beef.  (As apposed to dairy cattle, which are raised for their milk.)  There are plenty of other breeds of beef cattle, like Simmental, Hereford, and Limousins.  And there are actually 2 Angus: Red & Black.

Angus does not denote quality.

Basically, for a cow to be Angus beef, it needs to be at least 51% Angus.  That's it.  Same for Black Angus, it has to be 51% black.

Guess what?  Most beef cattle in the United States meet this criteria.  Most of your USDA graded meat is Angus or an Angus mix (if hamburger).

To be "Certified Angus Beef" the cow must be at least 51% black, "exhibit Angus influence", and meet these 10 criteria:

• Modest or higher degree of marbling
• Medium or fine marbling texture
• "A" maturity (about 9 – 30 months)
• 10 to 16 square-inch rib-eye area
• Less than 1,000-pound hot carcass weight
• Less than 1-inch fat thickness
• Moderately thick or thicker muscling
• No hump on the neck exceeding 5 cm (2")
• Practically free of capillary rupture
• No dark cutting characteristics
• Usually black or red in color

(That's right, "Certified Angus" is racist, and prohibits Red Angus from being included.)

So, with "Certified Angus Beef", you're getting some tender, young, well marbled (juicy) beef.  Which is important for steak, but not as important for something processed thru a meat grinder.

And with "USDA Prime" you're getting some tender, young, well marbled (juicy) beef that may well be Angus.  Without the marketing hype.

The skill of the chef plays a huge part in how the steak turns out.  A hack can turn the best steak in the world into inedible shoe leather and a chef can turn an average piece of meat into a fabulous dish.  And if you want to grill a juicy burger, just go with the 75% lean all-ready.  Save the low fat stuff for later.

So, does Angus really matter?  Maybe.  If you have super tasted buds, a discerning palate, and a trained chef to expertly prepare it.  Otherwise, Prime is prime, Choice is second choice, and Select isn't.

Now, let the grilling begin.

So, REALLY, Don't Tug On Superman's Cape. REALLY

I haven't seen the movie yet, but I enjoyed this scientific explanation of what would actually happen if Superman hit you in the face as hard as he could.

Spoiler:  It's REALLY bad for you.

And everyone in the metro area.

Have a good weekend and appreciate Dad while you're at it.

Friday Funny–Sad Dog Diary

Okay, yesterday I was a little grim, and at the time of writing this, 0 Comments.  So, I figure I'd lighten things up a little and start your weekend off right.  If these videos don't set you up for a good weekend, I think your funny bone might be defective.

You MUST have the sound on, so if you are at work, put some head phones on.

The line "Cat says this is how the devil buys souls..." killed me.  Just killed me.

And I love how people are referred to as "the Authorities" by the cat.

Have a good weekend.

People, I Give Up… (NSFW)

Okay, so recently I've seen the following headlines that have just made me really wonder about humanity:

What do you think:

• Man Charged With Having Sex With Pit Bull At City Pound

• Teen Sues United For Failing To Stop Masturbator

I mean seriously people, what the hell?

But seriously, what the hell is wrong with people these days?  Every day, you read another story about someone doing something incredibly bizarre and self centered.  Is it me?  Has this stuff always been going on and I just missed the stories?  Am I just a grumpy old man?  Or is humanity just sliding down hill?

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Okay, having sex with dogs and masturbating in public in front of 17 year old girls are both sick and wrong, and nothing to joke about, but…

• I thought pit bulls were supposed to be be vicious and fearsome creatures, but this one must have been pretty docile.
• When this dude says, "My girlfriend is a real dog", he meant it.
• Talk about "Man's Best Friend"
• Also, I didn't think they gave out blankets on flights anymore.
• And that puts a new spin on "Flying the Friendly Skies" and "Rhapsody in Blue".

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