News You Can't Use

I know that in your busy lives, sometimes we don't take the time to catch up on the news.  If someone doesn't post it on Facebook, it can totally slip under your radar.  So, I think, from time to time, I'll dip my toe into the news stream for you.

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You Think You Don't Want To Go To Work:

Talk about having a bad attitude.  Hans Url, an unemployed Austrian, was so upset about getting off of unemployment and going back to work that he…

<- USED THAT SAW RIGHT OVER THERE.

AND
      CUT
            HIS
                 LEFT
                        FOOT
                                OFF!

And then he cooked it so it couldn't be re-attached.

HE COOKED HIS OWN SEVERED FOOT!

Seriously?!?  No one LOVES their job, but this is taking it to a whole new level.  Makes you feel not so bad about calling in sick on nice Friday, doesn't it.

(Read story: LINK & LINK)

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A Silverstone Spew In His Mouth:

Alicia Silverstone has been getting a lot of grief recently for how she's feeding her 10 month old son.  Not breast feeding.

(Stop thinking about Alicia Silverstone's breasts.  She's only like, 18, right?)

She's been pre-chewing his food, and then feeding him mouth-to-mouth like a bird.

Yeah, it's nasty and revolting, but when you think about it, it's probably not all that bad for the kid.  A lot like breast feeding in transferring immunity, mother-child bonding, etc.

The most horrific part of this story is that he child's name is "Bear Blu Jarecki".

(Read story: LINK)

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An Even Worse Celebrity / Baby Story:

January Jones (Mad Men & X-Men: First Class) told People magazine that after the birth of her child, she ate the placenta.

ATE. THE. PLACENTA.

Okay, it was  converted into tablets, and not pan fried with onions and rosemary, but still…

I won't even order "polenta" in a restaurant out
of fear that they may make this mistake.

Don't give me that "animals do it" crap.  This is just nasty and wrong.  Dogs will eat their own vomit.  Cats lick their own asses.  We clawed ourselves to the top of the food chain for a reason, dagnabbit!

(Read story: LINK)

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A Shroud Of Shame On Falls On America

How in the name of Deep Fried Twinkies and Chicken Fried Bacon did we let the Brits invent this?  Forget your herb or cheese crust, this has hot dogs, HOT DOGS! in the crust!  The fact that Prince Harry can order a pizza from the Hut delivered to Buckingham Palace with HOT DOGS embedded in the crust and I sit here in Chicago, the PIZZA CAPITAL OF THE WORLD, and can only think, "We'll show them, let's wrap the hot dogs in bacon" makes me feel like I'm living a hallow half life of lies.

We don't even have "mustard drizzle".

(Read story: LINK)

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Life Ain't Easy Out There…

Dominique Strauss-Kahn ("DSK" YO!) former head of the International Monetary Fund, remember him?

Well, New York decided that the hotel maid had "credibility issues" (unlike a French politician's?), and dropped the case against him.

You would have thought he'd learned a lesson.

Nope.

In late March, "The Dominique-ator" was charged with "aggravated pimping" in a French court.

But really, is there any other kind of pimping other than "aggravated"?

(Read Story: LINK)