For the first time in 44 years, I have a girlfriend on Valentine's Day.
For the 44th time in 44 years, I will be alone on Valentine's Day.
But don't cry too many tears for me. My Valentine will be arriving next Friday.
The Teach and I had been dating for 6 months, and I was saving up for an engagement ring. As we got closer to Valentine's Day, I search through catalogs for the perfect gift. Hey, this was like, early '91. The internet wasn't really a "thing" yet.
I decided on CHOCOLATE.
Teach got the present in the mail, and broke up with me on Feb. 6, just a week before Valentine's Day. She claims the two things weren't connected. To this day, I'm not sure I believe her.
Yeah. As Milton Snavely Hershey as my witness, yes, I sent her a chocolate pig.