Hammerin' It Out A Two-fer Thursday


I've got a couple little stories that are not worthy, on their own, of rightfully honoring the ideals of the mighty Thor on his sacred day.  But as a tag team pair, I think these two show a little enough muscle to do the big guy proud.

You Can Call Me "Mike"

I have one last story from my last trip out to see Cora.  And with her showing up in about 31 hours from when this posts, I figure now is the time to roll it out.

Saturday evening, we met her mom & daughter out at Olive Garden.  We got our table, and our young Asian (I have no idea his specific ethnic background) waiter introduced himself: "You can call me 'Mike'," he said.  What?  I can't let that slide.  I had to ask.

"You said that we can call you 'Mike'?  What's your actual name?  Turns out 'Michael' was his MIDDLE name.  And his first name?  'Edward'.  Call me a racist bastage, but I was expecting something a little more exotic than 'Edward Michael".

But he was totally rocking this for a belt buckle.

A button!  A button!  Oh dear GOD A button! 

Because I'm An Idiot

Tuesday, I had a doctor's appointment first thing in the morning.  Because I'm an idiot, I made sure I took my wallet out of my pant and put it in my murse, so I wouldn't lose it at the doctor's office.

Fast forward to lunch time.  I ran out to a little diner, and had a cup of cream of chicken soup and a cheese burger.  I got the bill, $12.00, and reached into my right rear pocket.  EMPTY.

PANIC I know know exactly where it is.  Who can I call to run over some cash?  The panic was slowly easing, then I had a thought:

"You keep a $20 bill tucked in with your train pass."  I checked and sure enough it was there.  Whew!

Then I had a thought:  You're a guy.

So I reached into my front right pocket, and pulled out $15 in crumpled up bills.  Just enough for the bill, the tip, and a buck to spare!


Cora said...

I think the most I've ever carried in the front pocket of my pants is like $1.50 in bus fare.

And the time I tried to be manly and put my drivers license in my back pocket, it fell out and I lost it!

Of course, because I'm a girl, the guy who found it on the street mailed it back to me.... with his phone number.


WhatIGotSoFar said...

There used to be this crappy Saturday morning cartoon show about this guy who would team up with heros from Nintendo games to fight villians from Nintendo games. He would have an NES controller on his belt buckle and that would be his "super power." I forget what that show was called. It was pretty lame and I barely ever watched it. But now it's going to bother me all day. What was that show called? Was it Captain Power? No, that was that show where the toys would react to the flashing lights on the show itself. (Weren't TV shows so much better in the 80s?) Maybe it was the Nintendo Kid or something lame? Oh well. Off to IMDB.

MJenks said...


If you'll excuse me, I have to go buy some kitschy belt buckles...

Sassy Britches said...

There really are no words for 'ole Mike up there. But, I have to wonder how guys don't just flitter away their life savings, stowing it in five hundred million places. I know exactly how much money is in my wallet, and if some is inadvertently put in *god forbid* my front pocket, it's a bit more of a scene than the PANIC button.

SkylersDad said...

I am going out on a limb and say "Mike" is adopted, or maybe stolen from an Asian country.

J.J. in L.A. said...

My mom's name is Juanita Ramona. Back in the day, she had blackish/brownish hair and brown eyes. She's a 1st generation American.

She repeatedly gets asked to work at voting venues because "you speak Spanish, right?"

Her parents came from Holland.

Leah Rubin said...

Yeah, Edward Michael is pretty lame. I was anticipating something really exotic, and I wasn't even there...

Olive Garden? How was the food? I used to like their chicken marsala... Yummmmm.

JenJen said...

Ha I never have cash unless I return something at Target and am lucky enough to get "cash back"

mo.stoneskin said...

That is an AMAZING belt buckle. My wife, unfortunately, would ban me from wearing such a thing.

Shana said...

I always carry money in my frontpocket and I am not even a guy