Fun Friday - Performance Evaluation

Performance Evaluation

Under the "Freedom of Information Act" and the "Federal Privacy Act" of 2001, I understand that my work performance is being evaluated.  I have the right to examine and copy any documentation.  I have the right to review and discuss differences in order to resolve them and I have the right to request amendments to and/or modifications of any document.                                     

Name:  Date of Review:


[ ]

The son of a bitch really knows their shit

[ ]

Knows just enough to be dangerous.

[ ]

Only has half a brain and is dangerous.

[ ]

Brain damaged.  Their coffee cup has a higher IQ.

[ ]

Does excellent work, if not preoccupied with  Facebook.

[ ]

Pretty good; only occasionally blows it out their ass.

[ ]

Has to take off shoes to count higher than ten.

[ ] Couldn't count their balls and get the same answer twice.
[ ] Extremely cooperative (kisses ass frequently).
[ ] Pretty good brown nose, but in poor standing.
[ ] Often piss off co-workers; thinks it's their job.
[ ] Doesn't give a shit.  Never did.  Never will.
[ ] Really a dependable little cocksucker.
[ ] Can rely on them at evaluation time.
[ ] Can rely on them to be the first out the door at 5:00.
[ ] Totally fucking worthless.
[ ] Extremely neat.  Even combs their pubic hair.
[ ] Looks great at evaluation time.
[ ] Dirty, filthy, smelly son of a bitch.
[ ] Flies abandon fresh dog shit to swarm around them.
[ ] Goes like a son of a bitch if there's money in it.
[ ] Does okay around evaluation time.
[ ] Works only if kicked in the ass every two minutes.
[ ] Couldn't do less work if they were in a coma.
[ ] Carries a chainsaw and gets good results.
[ ] Occasionally gets told to go fuck themselves.
[ ] Mother Theresa would have told them to go fuck themselves.
[ ] Couldn't lead a pack of hungry wolves to raw meat.
I understand that I have been evaluated and know my rights under the "Privacy Act of 2001".  I further acknowledge that I am as useless as pockets in your underwear, and will attempt to correct my deficiencies.

Back in the days before email spam, when fax spam ruled the world, I got a glommed onto a copy of this performance evaluation.  I updated it a little, but opted to leave the language.

Now, go rate your co-workers and have a fun Friday.


Cora said...

My co-workers, huh? You mean the two year old and five year old?

Heh heh heh.

Cora said...

CORRECTION: I mean the SIX year old, since today is his birthday and all. :-)

Scope said...

Actually, that's more a "warden / prison laborer" relationship vs a "co-worker" relationship.

SkylersDad said...

OK, the Mother Theresa line made snot shoot out of me!

J.J. in L.A. said...

[ ] Couldn't count their balls and get the same answer twice

So this is why my man claims to be so smart! I'm guessing he gets the same answer every time.

Scope said...

Skydad - Mission accomplished then!

JJ - I just hope he gets the answer of "2" every time!