2010 Winter Olympics – Part 1

I'm a bit of an Olympic nut.  I love watching them.  Especially the weird, freaky events that I don't get to see a whole lot of regularly.  And that really comes through in the winter Olympics.

OPENING CEREMONIES – Was stuck at work late, and totally missed them.  But since they aren't really SPORTS, I didn't really mind.  But I did get to see the video of the cauldron malfunction.  And there stood Canadian speed skater, Catriona Le May Doan, as the literal fourth wheel.  While Wayne Gretzky, Steve Nash, and Nancy Greene got to light the flame, Catriona got to stand there like a putz.  But the Canadians made up for it, by letting her light the outdoor one across town.  Nope, Gretzky got to light that one, too.

WINNERS & LUGERS – Coming off the pre-Olympic tragedy of a death in training, watching this event was a real bummer.  Mostly because they wouldn't stop talking about it.  And while they didn't show the video, they did talk to the dead man's father about the video. (He says he hasn't seen it and isn't going to watch it.)

But the real focus of Saturday night was Apolo Anton Ohno's speed skating.  He did a great job in the prelims, and the semis, but was totally out of it in the finals.  Coming out of the last turn, he was in 4th place, behind 3 South Korean skaters.

The third place Lee Ho-suk totally screwed over his teammate Sung Si-bak taking them both down to the ice.  With two of the three South Koreans bouncing off the sideboards, Ohno skated to silver and American J. R. Celski snatch the bronze.

WOMEN'S MOGULS – This had nothing to do with Martha Stewart.  And Canada failed to win it's first home gold when the last skier of the competition took the gold.  This mean that we get to hear this bit of sob story for a bit longer.  (Until the men's moguls on Sunday night. Now we can drop this story line?  Please?)

THAT'S A SPORT? – For those of you who thought that a biathalon was like a triathalon without the swim came this cross country / shooting combo event.  In this effed up sport, you can hit the target, but if you don't hit the middle of the target, you have to take a penalty lap.  Shooting one of your competitors earns you two penalty laps.  And then 3 to 5 in Olympic Jail.

This should not be confused with the "Nordic Combined".  No, it's not picking up a Swedish and a Norwegian hottie for a Jacuzzi threesome (that's a different type of "game").  No, this is where people ski-jump and then cross country ski.  I say you combine the three bits into one sport, where the ski jumper is shooting skeets as they are flying through the air.  (The US finished 2nd & 4th in an fairly exciting race, winning the team's first medal in the event in ever.)

OVER A BARREL – And with those sports in the Olympics I cannot see why this former staple of ABC's Wide World of Sports isn't an Olympic event.