Fail to the Chief

Anybody running a "dead pool"?  If so, I want to enter in Keith "Chief Keef" Cozart.  He's an Chicago rapper that will STUN everyone if he makes it to 21.  I'm not sure a week goes by that he's not in the news somehow.

The Tribune just ran a Chief Keep timeline [LINK].  Since I know you are lazy, here's a recap.

1995-08-15 – Born

2011-01-27 – Arrested and charged with the manufacturing and distribution or heroin.  Well, he'd already dropped out of school.  Gotta do something, right?

2011-12-02 – Charged with 3 counts of aggravated assault with a firearm on a police officer.  Sentenced to 18 months probation and home confinement.

2012-06-16 – Signed a $6,000,000 record deal.  Money should solve all his problems.

2012-07-07 – Pitchfork Music Festival shows a video of Chief Keef at a gun range.  Oh well.  Boys will be boys. I'm certain nothing will come of this.

2012-07-16 – Chief Keef performs at the Pitchfork Music Festival.  It's a local music festival, not as big as Lollapalooza, but..

2012—08-04 – He performs at Lollapalooza.  Man, boom, boom!  He's on a roll.  Nothing can stop Chief Keef now.

2012-08-18 – Arrested and charged with possession of marijuana while riding in a stolen Ferrari in Florida.  And serving as a bad role model for Justin Bieber.

2012-09-15 – Banned from Instagram for posting a picture of him getting oral sex.  Well, I'm certain he won't miss use social media again.

2012-10-17 – Prosecutors seek to send him to juvie for the gun range video.

2012-10-19 – Police tell Chicago Tribune that Keef is being investigated in regards to the drive-by murder of rival rapper Joseph "Lil JoJo" Coleman.  Well, Keef did dis him on Twitter after after Lil Jojo was gunned down.

2012-12-18 – Chief Keef's first album is released.  Yes, all that happen before he release his FIRST album.

2013-01-02 – Keef is sentenced to home confinement at his grandma's house.  Well, grandma-ma will keep him in line, right?

2013-01-15 – Keef taken into custody due to the gun range video.  Well, that didn't last long.

2013-01-17 – Keef is sentenced to 2 moths in juvie and made a ward of the state.  Like Illinois needs those problems, too.

2013-01-23 – Florida issues an arrest warrant on the pot charges.  Getting an arrest warrant put out on you while you're already in jail is dope, man.

2013-03-14 – Released from juvie after 60 days.  This photo from the Trib shows the 17 year old Keef with his 2 year old daughter as he is leaving.  I'll pause while you do the math.

  Picture from Chicago Tribune.

And what are the odds that the little girl was put into a car seat before they drove off?

2013-05-20 – Arrested in Atlanta on pot and disorderly conduct charges.  Release that same day.  Hold on, things are about to get busy.

2013-05-27 – Got caught going 110 on a Chicago Expressway.

2013-06-17 – Fine $531, 18 months probation (again), and 60 hours community service for the speeding.  Then charged with trespassing at an old apartment on May 16.

2013-06-18 – In an oddly music related event, Chief Keef appears on fellow Chicago bad-boy rapper, Kanye West's album, "Yeezus"

2013-09-13 – Held in contempt to failure to pay child support.  Not sure if it is the girl pictured above.  With two cases going on, it's 50/50.

2013-10-15 – Sentenced to 10 days for testing positive for pot.  Released after 8 days on "good behavior".

2013-11-08 – And off to California "rehab" he goes…

2013-11-25 – The DNA comes back, and he's ordered to pay child support.  $2,500 a month for 10 month's (what's up with that?) and a $25,000 lump sum.

2014-02-28 – Released from rehab.  All's straightened out.  Nothing to see here.  Please move along.

2014-03-?? – Avoids eviction by paying $30,000 in back rent.  Understandable.  He's either been in rehab or jail, so it's easy to see why he would forget he was renting a place.

2014-03-05 – Charged with DUI.  Per the police, "There was an odor of burnt cannabis about his presence and in his vehicle and some admission of his use."  So?  It's not like he killed someone.

2014-03-26 – Keef was at his manager's house when a man as shot (but survived.)  Probably just a coincidence.

2014-04-09 – After signing a record deal and getting a $50,000 advance, Keef's cousin, Mario "Blood Money" Hess was shot dead.

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My favorite line from his lawyer in another Tribune story is this:

"I think he’s absolutely learning and maturing.  He’s only 18 years old, and people seem to forget that."

Oh, I can definitely see that.