2010-04-14

Charlie & The Chocolate Factory

Did I ever tell you the REAL reason Cora fell for me? Like her favorite fictional boy wizard, Harry Potter, I too have a scar on my forehead. Mine, however, is not due to the touch of an evil wizard. More like the touch of a 2 way swinging door.

It's in the "non-snake" section of skin there.

(It's as hard to see in real life as it is in the picture.)

I was in 3rd or 4th grade at the time. I was only in school in that building for 3 years, and I don't think it was second grade; too young. Anyhow, I had been excused to go to the bathroom. This was back in the day when Coke had real sugar, no child owned a "bicycle helmet" and grade school bathrooms not only had doors, but had doors that swung both ways. (Psst – don't forget to make an Anna Paquin joke later when you review this.)

After doing my business and washing my hands like a good little boy, I headed for the entrance / exit door. That's when Charlie from the Special Ed class BLASTED through the door at a full run.

CRACK!

I BE CONCUSSED! The leading edge of the door caught me right above my left eye. Little eff'r just kept going too. Oblivious to the destruction he had just wrought. But then, so was I. Head wounds don't really hurt. But one thing they do very well?

BLEED LIKE A MO-FO!

Probably concussed, I returned to my class room. The teacher gasped. Jill Sherbyn almost threw up. I had yet to realize that the blood, streaming from the half inch gash and had run down my face and neck and was starting to soak into my T-shirt.

Being the 70's, I was taken to the school nurse, who cleaned me up, and put a butterfly bandage on it. No other medical care was provided. I think. Did I mention the possible concussion?

I am pretty sure they called my mom to pick me up. Or at least bring me a new shirt, because the sudden imbalance of my four bodily humors that were displayed like a mad Rorschach Test on my clothing.

But I don't get it title. Okay, "Charlie" makes sense, he hit you with the door. But "Chocolate Factory"…

Oh. My.

You seriously made that joke?

Yes. And for that, I WIN.

9 comments:

Candy's daily Dandy said...

remind me to always watch the doors in the ladies room, both coming and going...

mo.stoneskin said...

I've never actually been hit by a door, but I live in perpetual fear. I know that one day I might be. There have been a few close shaves but so far it hasn't happened.

Is this why you don't use your front door at all and instead crawl through the cat-flap?

Cora said...

God is funny, isn't he? He plopped a man with a Harry Potter forehead scar right in my path and sat back to watch what would happen next.

And, of course, I fell.

Next God is going to make you get glasses, just watch. ;-)

MJenks said...

Wow! A four bodily humours reference, Rorschach tests AND a poop joke. Bravo, sir. Bravo.

*applauds*

Anna Paquin is hot. It only makes sense that she'd go rogue in the bedroom.

SkylersDad said...

This beats the story you told me about getting that scar from an angry hooker swinging her stiletto at you.

Oops, I forgot that wasn't for public consumption. My bad...

Soda and Candy said...

Ohh, that reminds me of the time I tripped in the playground when I was about nine years old and smacked my chin on the asphalt, got up totally unaware anything was wrong to be told that blood was streaming down my neck. I still have the scar too!

BeckEye said...

And Jill Sherbyn went on to be a forensic scientist.

J.J. said...

Head wounds DO bleed like a motherf'er! A brother threw a rock at me (don't ask) and it hit my forehead above my left eye. Only took 3 stitches but it bled all over my bathing suit. It's the reason my bang fall on that side.

And I guess I was lucky because our school bathrooms had both an Enter and Exit door.

JenJen said...

when the head springs a leak, there is no stopping it!