~E gads! She's Asking Questions

My other buddy from Seattle, ~E from ~E Deconstructed posted The Guy Questionnaire on her blog yester day and said we could run the answers in our own blogs if we want.  I had nothing planned for today, so what the heck.

If you haven't, please head over and see what everyone else said after you are done here.  And just as Cora made it clear her answers are

My answers are in BLUE.  And why do I keep hearing '***WARNING*** DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!'?

1) All three of my ex boyfriends (and yes, I only count the three) loved to watch me put on makeup and get dressed and fix my hair. Some of them would literally perch themselves on the bed or the dresser or toilet depending on where I happen to be, and just watch fascinated while I "transform" myself for a special event. Now I don't want to hear any gay jokes because trust me on this, not a single one of them were... but I do want to hear what the big fascination is? I can understand for women why they like to watch my tutorials for tips but why the guys?

I think it is because it is so strange and so foreign to us.  After toweling drying my hair, it takes me 7 swipes with the comb (9 if I'm feeling fancy) and my hair is done.  Then maybe a dab of sunscreen for the nose.  But for me, honestly, it would depend on my mood.  There are days when I could watch, Mesmerized.  There are days when I would watch and ask a whole lot of process questions, trying to understand.  And there are days when I would be pacing back and forth, staring at my watch, sighing heavily until I was evicted from the room.

And I made it a few minutes through your first tutorial video.  When it became clear that you probably weren't going to talk, I stopped.

2) Be honest! And be anonymous if you want...but how much does a woman's attractiveness/ weight/ personality factor into how you feel towards her AS A FRIEND. And do these quantifiers change when you are considering a woman as a RELATIONSHIP PROSPECT. Do women really need to worry that much about how they look or should they worry more about how they act.

As a friend?  Attractiveness and weight matter very little.  As long as she isn't a total self-made freak, because that would probably indicate that we are going to have incompatible personalities.  When you're talking a relationship, looks matter.  You do need to be attracted to the person.  But it's still not the most important thing.  I couldn't date a person I wasn't attracted to, but I wouldn't date someone I was not compatible with on the personality side, either.  Luckily, Cora is a double shot of both.

3) What is the best way for a girl to breakup with a guy. And what is the best way for a guy to breakup with a girl from the guy's perspective. (trust me, I will correct you on this if you are far off the mark)

For a girl to break up with a guy:  In private.  Just lay out the facts.  And if you weren't friends before, don't necessarily try to stay friends after.  He may get confused signals.  But if you want to give him 'one for the road' before you actually break up with him, that would be really decent of you.

For a guy to break up with a girl:  In private.  Take all the blame for it not working, and unless you were friends before, don't try to stay friends.  And you are not allowed to break up right after sex.  (Yes different rules apply.)  And you are especially not allowed to break up with her the instant YOU finish having sex.

4) When a bunch of guys are at a crowded urinal... is it really the unwritten guy law that if you can help it, you do not take the urinal in between two other guys? If so, then what's the big deal? Are you afraid that the guy next to you will all of a sudden show you their bits and pieces or are you just scared that curiosity will overtake and you just have to take a peek-sy? What if you really really have to pee?

Despite it being oft repeated, this rule is FLUID and very situational.  If you are at the ballpark (snicker), there's probably a trough anyway, but throughput requires all stations be used to their maximum potential.  It's really a matter of respect.  Sometimes people get "stage freight" and having another guy next to you doesn't help.  If possible, give the man a touch (bad choice of words) of privacy to drain the lizard.  But if a queue starts to form, step up to the plate.

Honestly, the odds of seeing something are remote, unless you very deliberately look, or are very deliberately shown.

5) On that same note, why are men so weirded out by the prospect of seeing another dude's things at a urinal or at a locker room (or so I assume) but they're perfectly fine watching some guy's thing and marbles on a porno flick?

I assume there's a woman in the porn scene in question?  We don't want to see the dudes twig & berries flopping about for 5 minutes while he's scratching them and reading the newspaper, but if he's getting down to business with the college co-ed who is going door to door selling magazines subscriptions for her sorority fund raiser, well, that's different.

6) Raise your hand if you believe that women don't dress or put on makeup for men...they do it for other women.

Situational.  But mostly, for other women.

7) If you can ask a woman any one question and trust that you will get the completely honest, unbiased, so true it hurts answer...but just one question...what would you ask her?

What's the deal with all the shoes?  Seriously?

8) Do men really fantasize about a threesome? I mean, really? And is it just fantasy to remain as such or would you guys actually jump at the chance to participate in one? And while we're on the subject, what would you do if your wife or significant other asked you to do one...would you decide differently if you were the one to propose it?

Just a fantasy.  I'd decline, with no small amount of fear that it might lead to the BAD kind of threesome aka another dude. 

9) Raise your hand if you believe in the phrase "once a cheater always a cheater".

Agree.

10) And this question is strictly for the guys: how important is your looks to you? We all know that most women tend to obsess about certain things like hair, weight, this little wrinkle there or that little sag there...but what about guys? What is the one thing about your body that you are most insecure about?

My looks are somewhat important.  And I really wish I could lose some weight.  But gray hair obviously doesn't bug me.

So, there you go.  My answers to ~E's questions.  :-)