~E gads! She's Asking Questions

My other buddy from Seattle, ~E from ~E Deconstructed posted The Guy Questionnaire on her blog yester day and said we could run the answers in our own blogs if we want.  I had nothing planned for today, so what the heck.

If you haven't, please head over and see what everyone else said after you are done here.  And just as Cora made it clear her answers are

My answers are in BLUE.  And why do I keep hearing '***WARNING*** DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!'?

1) All three of my ex boyfriends (and yes, I only count the three) loved to watch me put on makeup and get dressed and fix my hair. Some of them would literally perch themselves on the bed or the dresser or toilet depending on where I happen to be, and just watch fascinated while I "transform" myself for a special event. Now I don't want to hear any gay jokes because trust me on this, not a single one of them were... but I do want to hear what the big fascination is? I can understand for women why they like to watch my tutorials for tips but why the guys?

I think it is because it is so strange and so foreign to us.  After toweling drying my hair, it takes me 7 swipes with the comb (9 if I'm feeling fancy) and my hair is done.  Then maybe a dab of sunscreen for the nose.  But for me, honestly, it would depend on my mood.  There are days when I could watch, Mesmerized.  There are days when I would watch and ask a whole lot of process questions, trying to understand.  And there are days when I would be pacing back and forth, staring at my watch, sighing heavily until I was evicted from the room.

And I made it a few minutes through your first tutorial video.  When it became clear that you probably weren't going to talk, I stopped.

2) Be honest! And be anonymous if you want...but how much does a woman's attractiveness/ weight/ personality factor into how you feel towards her AS A FRIEND. And do these quantifiers change when you are considering a woman as a RELATIONSHIP PROSPECT. Do women really need to worry that much about how they look or should they worry more about how they act.

As a friend?  Attractiveness and weight matter very little.  As long as she isn't a total self-made freak, because that would probably indicate that we are going to have incompatible personalities.  When you're talking a relationship, looks matter.  You do need to be attracted to the person.  But it's still not the most important thing.  I couldn't date a person I wasn't attracted to, but I wouldn't date someone I was not compatible with on the personality side, either.  Luckily, Cora is a double shot of both.

3) What is the best way for a girl to breakup with a guy. And what is the best way for a guy to breakup with a girl from the guy's perspective. (trust me, I will correct you on this if you are far off the mark)

For a girl to break up with a guy:  In private.  Just lay out the facts.  And if you weren't friends before, don't necessarily try to stay friends after.  He may get confused signals.  But if you want to give him 'one for the road' before you actually break up with him, that would be really decent of you.

For a guy to break up with a girl:  In private.  Take all the blame for it not working, and unless you were friends before, don't try to stay friends.  And you are not allowed to break up right after sex.  (Yes different rules apply.)  And you are especially not allowed to break up with her the instant YOU finish having sex.

4) When a bunch of guys are at a crowded urinal... is it really the unwritten guy law that if you can help it, you do not take the urinal in between two other guys? If so, then what's the big deal? Are you afraid that the guy next to you will all of a sudden show you their bits and pieces or are you just scared that curiosity will overtake and you just have to take a peek-sy? What if you really really have to pee?

Despite it being oft repeated, this rule is FLUID and very situational.  If you are at the ballpark (snicker), there's probably a trough anyway, but throughput requires all stations be used to their maximum potential.  It's really a matter of respect.  Sometimes people get "stage freight" and having another guy next to you doesn't help.  If possible, give the man a touch (bad choice of words) of privacy to drain the lizard.  But if a queue starts to form, step up to the plate.

Honestly, the odds of seeing something are remote, unless you very deliberately look, or are very deliberately shown.

5) On that same note, why are men so weirded out by the prospect of seeing another dude's things at a urinal or at a locker room (or so I assume) but they're perfectly fine watching some guy's thing and marbles on a porno flick?

I assume there's a woman in the porn scene in question?  We don't want to see the dudes twig & berries flopping about for 5 minutes while he's scratching them and reading the newspaper, but if he's getting down to business with the college co-ed who is going door to door selling magazines subscriptions for her sorority fund raiser, well, that's different.

6) Raise your hand if you believe that women don't dress or put on makeup for men...they do it for other women.

Situational.  But mostly, for other women.

7) If you can ask a woman any one question and trust that you will get the completely honest, unbiased, so true it hurts answer...but just one question...what would you ask her?

What's the deal with all the shoes?  Seriously?

8) Do men really fantasize about a threesome? I mean, really? And is it just fantasy to remain as such or would you guys actually jump at the chance to participate in one? And while we're on the subject, what would you do if your wife or significant other asked you to do one...would you decide differently if you were the one to propose it?

Just a fantasy.  I'd decline, with no small amount of fear that it might lead to the BAD kind of threesome aka another dude. 

9) Raise your hand if you believe in the phrase "once a cheater always a cheater".


10) And this question is strictly for the guys: how important is your looks to you? We all know that most women tend to obsess about certain things like hair, weight, this little wrinkle there or that little sag there...but what about guys? What is the one thing about your body that you are most insecure about?

My looks are somewhat important.  And I really wish I could lose some weight.  But gray hair obviously doesn't bug me.

So, there you go.  My answers to ~E's questions.  :-)


Cora said...

Okay, now those are some good answers!! How did I know you would take this and turn it into a post, hmm? Hmm?!


As for the shoes... Well, I dunno. I never ever was a shoe girl at all. I always had maybe four pairs at a time, tops. But then I had my surgery and Dr Neurologist has been VERY strict about what kinds of shoes I am allowed to wear now because of the difference in sensation between the right foot and the left.

No flip flops. No heals. No slip-on shoes of any kind. No heavy shoes. Etc. I had to get rid of my four pairs of shoes because they were all banned and had to start over. Fine.

Then I discovered Skechers and they are PERFECT - I can wear them with skirts and pants, they are dressy yet also casual, they are weightless, they are cute and they are comfortable.

They usually sell for $50 a pair. Ouch. But sometimes I can find them on sale for about $20 - and, dammit, whenever I do, you can f*cking bet I am going to buy a pair or two just to stock up! What if they stop making them?!?!

I guess it's like you and the razor blades.

Sass said...

You're such a good guy, Scope.

Like, seriously.


~E said...

1) maybe my next tutorial, Ill talk. I thought that people would prefer listening to music rather than hear my voice but apparently my voice isnt as annoying as I thought.

2) I have a TON of shoes! A ton! I count 15 pairs off the top of my head and those are just my high heeled ones. And here's the thing about shoes...no matter how much weight you gain or lose, your feet usually stay the same size. PLUS, who doesn't love a girl in high heels?

3) Good job on the answers and thanks for linking my blog. You know, since I pretty much wrote out half of your post and all! :)

Cora said...

Oh. One more thing! I have said this to Poobomber and Words Words Words already, and now it looks like it's your turn: Regarding your answer to #10, there is NOTHING wrong with having meat on your bones. NOTHING AT ALL. (Go on, repeat it out loud. I insist.) In fact, it is my strong opinion that a man SHOULD have meat on his bones, okay? It's manly, it's sexy, it's cuddly - what's not to love about that? And who wants a skinny man anyway, huh?! HUH?!?!

Okay, now that we've got that settled....

Yes, the gray hair is sexy too.

And, yes, I already know what you just said to ~E about question #8. Punk. (Sexy punk, true. But still a punk.) *smirk*

~E said...

and p.s. on the boob comment. I think Cora made it clear what her thoughts were on this subject. As for how I feel about it, why don't you ask the ex in question who asked me if I would take part in a menage a trois?

Oh that's right, you cant! He lost the ability to speak after I punched him in the throat!


~E said...

and pps, I think it's hilarious that Cora and I are posting comments within 2 minutes of each other. I swear up and down that we aren't together plotting anything. I swear!

Wait, what's that?

Oh, Cora says Hi!

I mean...uhm...she's not here...I promise!

Lisa said...

awwww. you are the total package aren't you.

Go Cora!

after reading this, if Cora had been possibly not considering your relationship, I'd be on a plane to Seattle slap some sense into her!

Well, I wouldn't actually slap her... it'd be more like sitting her down for a good girl on... oh, I mean girl to girl talking.

Lisa said...

Oh, Cora is so on the mark with a man needing meat on his bones!!!

Cowguy said...

Dang man... you play this game really REALLY well. :-)

Lisa said...

step up your game cowguy... let's see what you got. ;-)

Nikki said...

I buy shoes to match occasions and outfits. If I buy a new dress and don't think I have shoes that will look good with it I will buy a pair. I don't have a weird shoe fetish I just like to match and look good.

Dr Zibbs said...

Threesome's are great but to prevent jealousy I usually divide by self up in two with a sheet that I hang from the ceiling.

Then, after a half hour or so I blow a whistle and the gals can switch sides.

It works out great.

mo.stoneskin said...

You've done us proud dude, good answers, apart from the shoes, the ladies' shoes are one of the best things!

J.J. in L.A. said...

Re: #6 - I like to look good for my man, but I wear make-up mostly for myself. I couldn't care less about looking as good/better than other women.

Re: #8 - a former b/f asked me for a 3some. He was a horny little dude and I know he would've gone for it (with another woman) if I'd said, "Yes." I didn't.

Re: #10 - My man is growing a high forehead and the only person it bothers is him.

J.J. in L.A. said...

Btw, I agree with Cora on the 'skinny dude' thing. There's nothing sexier than a man with a little meat on his bones. Not 400 lbs, of course, but I want something (no pun intended!) I can hold onto.

Fancy Schmancy said...

Those were great, well thought out answers. Cora's a lucky lady!

Candy's daily Dandy said...

well done dude, well done.

And the shoes? A woman's shoes are like a mans tools. An essential item needed to fix everyday problems.

Scope said...

Dr. Zibbs: Shhhhh, my girl friend is reading this. Play it cool man, play it cool.

The hot Filipina girl who live basically next door to her is opening up the topic of threesomes, man.

I sure hope neither Cora or ~E read that. ;-)

Cora said...

I read read that.

Cora said...

And it looks like I read it twice too. (WTF?! It's too early to be this tired! Grrrr.)

Scope said...


Shana said...

Good answers, although I agree with Cora about number 10: a man should have some meat. A too skinning man is just to damn skinny and that is NOT attractive at all !!!!

Jan @ Struck by Serendipity said...

All good answers.

I wish I could help you on the shoes thing, but I don't get it myself. I have a few basics that get worn daily.

Srg said...

I can't help with the shoe addiction either. And I'm one who's addicted! It's in my blood. Seriously. Like everytime I look at a new pair of shoes I think, omg, I have an outfit that would go with those! And that's it.