Guess What Week It Is, Kiddies? Sexy Clowns?

Sure.  Evil clowns need them some loving, too.  All those balloon animals.  All those seltzer bottles going off all the time.  It's enough to make any "happy on the outside" clown a "crying on the inside" clown.

What, you don't believe me?

Guess you've never heard of a HARLEQUIN ROMANCES then.

Yesterday, we saw that it was really easy to be for clowns to be creepy.

But what about sexy?

Can a clown be sexy?

I searched the entire internets, and I have to report that while it can be done, it is much, much easier to fail miserably at the attempt.  I had even switch over to mimes, eff'n mimes, to finish the list.

 

Done Right!	Done Wrong!
She's into the French style of doing it.	Madonna in cold cream? An overdone Pearl Necklace facial? Even when single, drunk at a Halloween party, I couldn't try to pick her up. No matter how powerful her lungs are from making all those balloon animals.  Afraid that when she was finished, she twist my noodle into a poodle.
I'd like to see her trapeze act.	Knows how to use tongue.  Doesn't help.
Is she a clown, or imitating Rudolph? Does it really matter?	I stayed away from using Pennywise in yesterday's post, but you didn't think I could not have Clown Week and not include IT, do you?
She has to be a clown, because that ain't her birthday suit.	Playing with his balls.
Normally, I dislike mimes.  But Christina Ricci really makes the outfit work.	He doesn't. Less is not more, sometimes.
A little Fabio for the ladies.	You've heard of "6 pack abs"? John Travolta here's got a pony keg.
Not Amy Winehouse.	And this one.  Well, I can't even put this one on the webpage.  It's totally NSFW and very, very wrong. I dare you to click the link. You've been warned. HORRIFYING LINK See, now that cannot be unseen, and that will now haunt your dreams for the rest of your days.  And maybe beyond.

Just Plain Wrong!

Happy Meal in deed!

She bites things.

Party balloons!

But the least sexy clown in the world?  That's easy.  It's Shakes.  Shakes the Clown, aka "The Citizen Kane Of Alcoholic Clown Movies."  Don't believe me?

Or watch the full length feature HERE.  See if you can last the first scene with Florence Henderson basking in the glow of "post clown-sex".