Christmas Music

* Warning all links with a '*' will play music. If you don't want sound where you are, don't do the "clicky" thing.

You know, I like Christmas. I get jazzed for it. I'm a 40+ bachelor, and there are 80 people on my Christmas card list. And I take it seriously. Each box of cards has a number. A person is assigned a number. The Excel spreadsheet is then sorted to make sure members of close families don't get the same card, if possible. That also assists in the filling out process, so you can do one type of card at a time, and not have to flip between boxes. (Of course I sort the envelopes by zip code before taking them to the post office. I'm not some kind of heathen.)

And you folks thought Candy had OCD looking for this.

Each of the 80 will get a card.

With a hand written note.

Envelope? All filled out by hand.

Not even return address labels.

But I can't bring myself to do one of those 'Christmas newsletters' things. Even a parody one.

And I love Christmas music. Not enough to "Turn On The Light*" yet, mind you. But enough to wait for that one new song to catch me for the season.

Last year, it was Kevin Maney's "Reindeer Song*".

A few year's back, it was The Christmas Jug Band's "Santa Lost A Ho*" (Sorry, could only find a clip.)

And now, here's something that takes one of my all-time favorites, craps on it, bitch slaps it, and then swabs it under the toilet rim of a Thai whorehouse.

If you EVER want to enjoy "Carol of the Bells" again, do not watch this:

And a SPECIAL one for Zibbs.

[FYI - Yes, I know Candy wrote same thing here. But this was already in the can and scheduled, and I'm not about to throw it away.]


Candy's daily Dandy said...

HAHAHAHA! Thanks for the shout out today, dude! Any day I'm mentioned in a post with Family Guy is a good day for me. (did I also mention that after all that-I found and bought the rights to that photo? That "Holy Grail" is in the can, as you say. hee hee) After reading this one has to wonder what one has to do to get on this prestigious Christmas card list.?

Have a great Thanksgiving!

Dr Zibbs said...


Gwen said...

My favorite is Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt. Or Baby It's Cold Outside.

Scope said...

Candy - I think many are asking, "How do I get OFF his Christmas card list?"

Gwen - True classics, like yourself.

And while my comments will be dropping the next few days (it's such a pain in the ass on the BlackBerry), I have the robots working overtime providing fresh posts all weekend for you to enjoy with your morning coffee. Just my contribution to help the economy.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

You and your robots are great Americans.

Not even the Garmin commercials that assign words to the Carol of the Bells can ruin the song for me. There's just something about it. My son goes apeshit and flips out and stuff when he hears the song. At least three times during the song, while he's busy "conducting", he reminds me that this is his favorite song. So, yeah, not even Peter Griffin can ruin Christmas for me.

Scope said...

Candy - I have dropped a few folks from the card list in the last few days, so there is an open slot or two. And if anyone else wants on, my email address is now on my blog in the uppeer right. Snail mail, email, which ever.

Otherwise, you'll have to wait until I can get around to putting your Christmas card here on the Scope-Tech mantle.

MelO said...

I love Family Guy too much not to click on that link... even if I DID like that song ;)

First, I was thinking how cool it was that you put stars by the links that play music... because back BEFORE I WAS FIRED... I wouldn't have been able to watch that shit from work. So, I'm sure all the employed folk out there appreciate THAT ;)

Second, I LOVE LOVE LOVE your spreadsheet idea!! Right down to the details about family who lives around each other not getting the same card!! I love this idea!

I'm totally stealing it. :D

MelO said...


I'm going to hell...

I just watched the 'special' one for Zibbs and I have tears running down my face... and for once in the last 48 hours, the tears are from laughing.

Thank you for that... I'll see ya in HELL!! :D

Scope said...

MelO - Glad I could help a little. Sounds like a lot of us have been in your shoes before. I knew about 4 months in advance when my "end date" would be, and it still hurt, so I can't imagine not knowing 4 minutes ahead of time.

And my special ring of HELL will be due to the fact that in about 52 hours, I will see a couple of really nice guy, who are just a little slow, who WORK AT BURGER KING!

Yes, I'm a terrible person.

Yes, when I see them I will think, "ding fries are done" even though I LIKE these guys and don't want to be mean to them.

Yeah, people think I'm nuts with my list, but I'm a data guy. The spreadsheet thing is no different really than half the stuff I do all day, anyway. I'd be nuts NOT to do it this way. Yeah, I could go the next step and mail merge labels and stuff, but choose to throw my shoes in the cogs on that bit of automation and say, "I draw the line here." But no ill will to anyone who draws the line elsewhere.