The Check's In The Mail

As I was paying the bills tonight, I flipped among thoughts like "Why aren't I using electronic bill-pay?", "Are these stamps still good?", "Is there anything to eat in this joint that isn't CHILI?" and "Why do I have two cable bills?" Guess who's getting a $150 refund from Comcast? I don't know either. They're in to me for $360! Cha-CHING! I really should pay a little more attention to the bills. Which would happen even less frequently if I were on electronic bill-pay. And there, as "they" say, is the rub.

Name: Dollar, Bill

Aliases: Buck Singleton, "Gorgeous" George Washington, Count D' Monet.

Crime: Mr. Dollar is wanted for questioning for his part in the "Money Gang" and the warrant for their arrest pertaining to the charge of criminal neglect and abandonment. Mr. Dollar and his companions, "Honest" Abe Lincoln and Andrew Jackson, are to be considered armed and dangerous but, oddly enough, legally tender. If apprehended, keep these fugitives under lock and key in a safe location. They are professional escape artists.

(Apologies to my Canadian Cousins & Poobomber - In the States, we ignore our dollar coins (≈ "loonie"), and are generally peeved when we get them in change from a stamp machine. There's no such thing as a "two dollar" coin (≈ "toonie"). Finding a two dollar bill "in the wild" is harder than finding freakin' Sasquatch on the Kokanee label.)