Homeless Chic: Part I

[Attention: This whole story is a work of fiction. Except for the poncho.]

A few years back, I was at the
North/Clybourn train station, it was off hours, and there was this disheveled young woman sitting on the bench, ranting to herself, and waving a cup at me. Feeling a bit charitable, I flipped 50¢ into her cup. Turns out, I just drop two quarters into an L.P.T.'s (Lincoln Park Trixie) double skinny latte.

Among the lessons learned:
- Bluetooth earpieces are getting smaller all the time.
- You don't have to be homeless to wear an afghan out in public.

I know what you're thinking: anybody wearing an afghan in public HAS to be homeless. Au contraire, mon fraire! It took a fully loaded
Kate Spade bag upside my head to figure out that the crocheted, fringed square with a hole in the center was a "poncho", not an "afghan" or a "fishing net remnant".

But to tell the truth, if it's 4 foot on a side, and crocheted with yarn in a clam shell stitch, sister, you're wearing an afghan.

What's the next bit of homeless chic?

15 plastic shopping bags wrapped around your feet instead of stilettos?

To be continued ...

[MelO - Thanks for the idea about doing the to be continued post, even if I'm not doing it right.]


Candy's daily Dandy said...

Oops sorry for mistaking your fabulous crocheted poncho for a dirty, homeless frock!
That is just too funny!
A tip: If you are wrapping plastic bags around your feet instead of stilettos make sure the bags have red lettering on them. That way you can call them faux-Louboutin's and they will be terminally faux-chic!

LYDIA said...

Oh I love homeless stories! I am surprised you knew what a Kate Spade bag was, even if you put a pic of David Spade up :)

Sass said...

Anyone who knows ANYTHING knows that you can't fashion stilletos out of plastic bags.


Scope said...

LYDIA - The authorative source "someone told me once" that Kate was David's sister-in-law. And I just LOVED that picture of him.

And I lived in Trixie-ville (which is so NOT near Naperville) while I may not know a Kate Spade bag if it hits me in the head, I certainly know the name from living in the North Ave / Halstead / Armitage mall.

Sass - Normally, the shopping bags a little bit of cardboad would get you a ballet flat, but with the creative use of an old map handle... I was really only talking about the uppers, not the whole shoe being plastic bags.

What Not To Wear fan from season one. DVR. Once busted a "contributor" not REPRESENTING, but that's a story for another time.