Trimming The Tree

When I was coming in from the Thanksgiving holiday at the 'rent's, I saw my neighbor trying to trim up the bottom of his Christmas tree with a small hacksaw with a metal cutting blade. If you don't know about saws, think of emptying a 5 gallon bucket of flour using a teaspoon. You can do it, but it's gonna take forever. Anyhow, I had a small collapsible blade wood saw in my tool kit, and loaned it to him. He finished up in a few minutes.

This story isn't about that.

This is about a Christmas memory from back around 8th grade. It was a bitter cold and snowy winter. Back when scientists were still talking about the pending new ice age that was coming. Out on the farm, the drifts were high, but the old farmhouse was snugly and warm.

Dad brought in the Christmas tree, but the bottom of the tree wasn't level so it didn't sit right in the base. He went to the garage to get "the saw" and we all went to the kitchen for some fresh baked cookies.

The "saw" turned out to be the two-stroke, gas/oil mix burning CHAIN SAW! Quicker that you can say "
Bruce Campbell" the tranquility was shattered by the roar of the saw and the smell of the cookies annihilated by the blue smoke rolling out of the little red beast's ass and the wood chips spewing from its maw.

And just like that, the warm farmhouse wasn't anymore, as we had to open all the windows and doors to air the place out.

How could he do something so stupid? Well, at the time, he was probably younger than I am now. And on Tuesday I made it to the train station with neither my train pass nor my wallet. So, I get it now.


Candy's daily Dandy said...

Heee heee those, my friend, are called senior moments...We are in for a more of those as the day's go bye.

Scope said...

That's what scares me. He was maybe 40 at the time. I'm 42.991781! (How did I ever do math without Excel?)

I've always been a knucklehead, now I'm DOOOOMED!

That damn expat said...

That's a good story!
I thought my dad was the smartest man alive and then he called me from Lisbon to tell me he can see Africa. And he was a college professor.

SouthernBelle said...

Child, please.
I've been having these so-called "senior moments" pretty much my whole life.

PS - Ha! Your dad was like Tim "The Toolman" Taylor!

MelO said...

Ha ha... awww. cute Dad story.

The first part of your story actually reminded me of my mom and me when I was younger. it was just Mom and me but she always insisted on having a real tree. I couldn't have been more than 7 or 8 but I specifically remember thinking... "Should she really be using a bread knife to cut off the bottom of the tree?!"