The "Big Fight"

If you haven't ready Candy's post from yesterday, please do so now. (And seriously, if you're not reading Candy, what's up with that?)

I have an older sister about the same age split as her kids. My sister is 23 months older (there's also a brother 4.5 years younger) and we got along fine, because we basically ignored each other.

Except once, and it is family lore. And also the last time my mother cut my hair.

I was probably in 6th or 7th grade, and I was in the kitchen getting a haircut. My sister was at the table eating the last bit of the dessert from the night before. It was a Jell-O salad with a pretzel crust then a strawberry Jell-O middle (with real strawberry slices cut up into), topped with Cool Whip. I forget the grade, but remember the food, SHOCKER _

At the conclusion of the haircut, I got a bit melodramatic about how awful the haircut was, and how I should just wear a bag over my head. That's when ol' lippy pipes up from the table, about ready to savor another bite of the Jell-O that I so wanted, (BITCH) "I've wanted to do that for years."

With the speed of a ninja, I sprang from the hair cuttin' stool and snatched the food off her plate with an overhand claw motion.

*** WARNING ***

*** DANGER ***

Despite my all consuming rage, something told me that grinding it into her face would be a VERY bad move. So I stood there, frozen for a second or two, then casually walked to the bathroom (old farm house, it was right off the kitchen) and in full view of everyone, I flung it down the toilet and flushed it.

"No" I didn't trouble. While I'm not sure if mom ever made that dessert again, she's gotten a lot of mileage out of the story.

[EDITOR'S NOTE - Forgot to name the post.]


Candy's daily Dandy said...

ok, so I came over here early because I wanted to tell you that I SO SO SO LOVED!!! the "Candy Coin" advice you gave me yesterday. You are so genius and you probably don't even know it. (marriage advice from a catholic priest indeed!!)

What I love most about the concept is that it allows the kids to learn effective negotiation tools for resolving conflicts peacefully and on their own. At the same time, they are learning the value of "money" and skills which will help determine future spending habits. My kids are at the perfect age for these kinds of teachings-and where else can you do that kind of learning, but at home!
We are putting the system into place next Wednesday night-(we "unplug" from electronics from 5-10-perfect opportunity to explain the rules uninterrupted)

Dude-you may have a future in teen or tween counciling!!! Really-a brilliant idea! Thank you again!

As for this post-What can I say-I would sing you a song of appreciation but that's really hard to do when I have a huge lump of appreciation in my throat.
(My fist is balled up and crossed over my chest-you being one of my peeps and all)

I'll even admit publicly that your Steelers revealed my Patriots for the whiney bitches that they were(when we played them)!
There, ok I said it, all for you!!

You are the greatest!

Candy's daily Dandy said...

As for your ninja-skills, ya I've seen that move more than a few times in this house.
And if your gonna do the crime, you better be prepared to do the time.

Scope said...

I just hope it works.

Thanks for the kind words.

And I think the reason I didn't get in trouble for grabbing the dessert was the fact that I had that momentary, "Now What" momment, that showed that I knew what I wanted to do was wrong, and stopped myself.

Plus I lived 2.5 miles outside of a town of 250 people. We were the last house on the electric line. The neighbor kid from across the street was STILL a quarter mile away. Grounding? You live grounded. Chores? Had em. No TV. Fine, but remember this is before remotes, that would mean mom and dad would have to punish one of the other kids to change the channel. The crime was too small to get anything other than "time served."

Dr Zibbs said...

Whoa. A jello salad? Which region of France did your mom get her chef training?

Scope said...

Yes, a "Jell-O salad." I didn't want anyone to think it was a "lettuce salad." Because then it would have just been a "tossed salad" if you know what I mean, right Sass.

About 15 miles west of Toulon.

Thanks for the setup Zibbs. I owe you. Please Google Map "Toulon, IL" for the joke. She grew up in Galva.

Gwen said...

Wow. Your restraint was impressive!

Eight days to the Christmas party!