2008-12-11

SCOPE-TECH University

SCOPE-TECH the thinking person's think-tank is now offering its wisdom to the masses by opening SCOPE-TECH University. Our educational programs are geared for two different student bodies.

SCOPE-TECH
University Department for Educating New Thinkers - This is a school where prospective SCOPE-TECH faculty and staff develop and hone their critical thinking skills before they learn the secret handshake and are inaugurated into the hallowed halls that are SCOPE-TECH. If this sounds like you, maybe you belong @ SCOPE-TECH University Department for Educating New Thinkers, and are S.T.U.D.E.N.T. material.

SCOPE-TECH University Personal Instruction Department - This is the school for the masses. While there's little hope to graduate these people to be S.T.U.D.E.N.T.s, some of the S.T.U.P.I.D. can be educated about "hot water heaters" and payday / car title loans so they can become contributing members of society. And if not actual contributors, we can hopefully steer them away from being part of the problem by teaching them about how their answering email SPAM for "male enhancement therapies" only encourages the SPAMmers, and hurts us good folk. Since this class has an open enrollment of 90% of the world's population, it does prove Scope's First Law: "People are
S.T.U.P.I.D."

SCOPE-TECH University Fulltime Faculty - And where would any school be without its teachers? Our crew of highly specialized, yet surprisingly well rounded instructors, not only teach in the classroom, they have been known to actually go out into the field and apply guerilla (or gorilla in the case of our flying monkey staff) training sessions, pro bono, for the general public. Verily, we at SCOPE-TECH University are proud of those who live and wear the "I know S.T.U.F.F." motto.

5 comments:

Sass said...

Hmm...I'm hoping to at least be full time faculty. ;)

Candy's daily Dandy said...

So where do we sign up? I know a few people who would greatly benefit from some S.T.U.P.I.D. training.

Sass said...

...And by the way...

I'm thinking I could wax on and on for hours about the Taint of Illinois Government.

Maybe I could teach a class on it.

I would give lots of tests, refer to my students as "test-ees," and ask everyone to pack extra fudge for snacks in their "sack" lunches.

Too much?

MelO said...

I'm IN!!!!

Hey- guess what?! You've been tagged!

Gwen said...

HAHAHAHA @ Sass!