Honest Scrap

About a week ago Srg tagged me for the Honest Scrap Award. As with most prizes, there are a few rules.

A) List 10 honest things about yourself - and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep!

B) Pass the award on to 7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap.

While normally a compulsive rule follower, with memes, not so much. Since I'm not going to pass this on (I think everyone I know has already done it), I won't officially accept the prize. But that doesn't mean I won't do the work. And, as a special bonus, I did find a place to buy the sign if you want. And I figured out that "Honest Scrap" was a brand of loose chewing tobacco, like Red Man. Don't say I don't give back.

So a little Honest Scrap about your buddy Scope.

01 - I hate the phone. Necessary evil, and it has its uses, but I'm not good on it, and I hate to be put on the spot, especially at work. Email me your problem, let me figure it out and get back to you.

02 - I am embarrassed for you. I will leave the room if someone on TV is doing something stupid and embarrassing. Hence I watch little "Reality" TV.

03 - I love History Channel's "Modern Marvels". I think I've seen the one on concrete about 15 times.

04 - I make about enough money. Not bragging. It's not like I'm Richie Rich or anything. I have no wife. I have no kids. I usually enjoy my job and think that I'm fairly compensated. (It's a 7 hour day for God's sake!) I make enough to cover the bills, and not really need to worry about it. The rules said to "dig deep". Would you trade your spouse and kids to be comfortable? Yeah, didn't think so. Now who's jealous of who?

05 - Rhymes, alliteration, and puns: Love 'em.

06 - I share a birthday with Diane Sawyer. I would like us to celebrate it in our birthday suits doing the "sweaty samba."

07 - My favorite time of day to see on a clock is 12:34. If I notice it is 12:33 I will stare at the clock until it changes.

08 - I fart in elevators.

09 -
I believe in the soul... the cock...the pussy... the small of a woman's back... the hanging curve ball... high fiber... good scotch... that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent overrated crap... I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a Constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

10 - I like to quote movies and song lyrics in casual conversation where ever possible.

So, are you looking for a little more honesty out of your new buddy, Scope? If so you are in luck. My 100th post is coming up in a couple of weeks, and I'm going to try to do what Sass tried, 100 honest things about me. I'm already well on my way to filling it in (and giving up 10 here hurt, but like I said, I give like that), but I do want to field some questions from the peanut gallery. I can't promise to use all that I get, (some more free honesty there for you) but I would like to tell you some of the things you may be wondering about. Just send me your questions via the gmail account listed in the upper right corner.


Candy's daily Dandy said...

You make "about enough money"...hmmm...I wonder if My guy feels this way, or rather felt this way. He too was a bachelor when he met me, very successful(he owns his own business) but did not have US-me, two kids and three dogs to worry about. He is super generous and takes good care of all of us, but I often wonder if he longs for the "old days". We don't NEED him to take care of us-I know he does it out of the goodness of his heart-but I often wonder if he would "trade us in" as you say. For no other reason than financial.

Scope said...

He may wistfully remember the "old days", and he may even miss aspects of them, but I seriously doubt he'd trade you guys in for the chance to go back. He has that chance every day, and he's still there. That should tell you something huge.

Money's money. I would make the same trade he did if/when the right ones come along.

~E said...

Here's one for your 100th Post... If someone gave you money to be intimate with a guy (of your choosing) (and I mean intimate like that sweaty samba you keep mentioning) how much money would you ask for?

Notice I didn't give you a choice yes, or no. Just the bare minimum amount of moolah it would take.

Scope said...

~E - Okay, I'll play, but just to be clear on two points:

1) I have a $100 mail in rebate for my new cell phone sitting on my sofa. It's been there for weeks. I'm not motivated to spend the 5 minutes filling it out to get $100 bucks back. Last time, I sent in the rebate, but never called to activate the $100 gift card. Money honestly isn't that big of a motivator for me.

2) I call "pitcher" ;-)

That damn expat said...

I'm with you on the phone thing. I'm totally awkward on the phone, even with family and friends.

Srg said...

Great post! But I sure hope I never have to share an elevator with you!

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Aside from me already having my soul sucked out...er...I mean...married...you're like the ten-year-older version of me. It's kind of frightening and reassuring that I'll still be kickass in ten years.

Lisa said...

Don't you feel bad for the people that are entering the elevator after you leave???

Scope said...

Actually, that's the prefered delivery method: The Haunted SMELLevator!

I love the thought of leaving a vopor most foul in the booth, and sending it off to another floor where it will burn the eyes and singe the nose hairs of the unsuspecting victims.

There is a twisted little 12 year old living inside me. I'll admit that.

TishTash said...

I'm with you on number 5. That Shakespeare drives me wild.

mike said...

Good stuff. I have also seen the concrete episode a bunch... AWESOME. But my favorite time of the day is 10:01. It's the same forwards, backwards, and upside down.

And remind me not to ride in an elevator with you after your sweaty samba.

Cora said...

Great list!!

I share a birthday with J.Lo. and (....wait for it....) Marvin the Martian. Yep. I couldn't care less about J.Lo. - but sharing a b-day with Marvin ROCKS!! :-)

I'm awkward on the phone too. Simply hate it. HATE. IT.

As for the elevator, well, I think I'll be taking the stairs. Thanks for the warning though. I really do appreciate it!

Cora said...

Oh, and that dinosaur your planning on buying? EVIL. Yet, also oddly sexy....

Can't wait to see the 100th post, Scope!

Ms. Florida Transplant said...

You're an elevator farter?! Scope!

My question for you - what blogger do you most want to meet and in real life?