Back in high school, I played basketball, and one time, kinda tweaked the muscle on the inside of my thigh. So, before going to bed, I took a good three finger dip into the tub of Icy/Hot, and rubbed it into the problem area, pulled up my shorts, and went to bed.
I figure that when I was pulling up my shorts, some of the goo must have transferred from my leg to the shorts to my scrotum, because suddenly little beads of sweat formed on my upper lip as a mild burning sensation set in. As the intensity increased, my eyes started watering, and panic set in. I jumped up out of bed, and tried to scrape the burning acid from my sack. Remember the part about the "three finger dip"? Well, I hadn't washed that hand I guess, so I'm just applying more fuel to the fire. To make matters worse, as if the sensation of an Icy/Hot fire roasting your nuts wasn't bad enough, somehow, some of this demon gel managed to get on my urethra (pee hole), and start working its way down that one-way street!
Now in pure panic I run down to the shower and wash and wash and wash the effected area. After about 15 minutes and a good pee to flush the pipe (thank GOD I didn't get "stage fright"), the fire was out.
I went back to bed (wearing different shorts, of course), and in the morning, pitched the tub of Icy/Hot into the trash.