2009-01-10

TAINTed Gov

I was going to be all ambitious and write a cool post today on a "Not Safe For Work" topic. You know, put it out there on a Saturday, so you had the weekend to read it without "The MAN" watching everything you do at work. That would have been cool of me. Cool like Fonzie.

But then I went out after work, and had to make sure a drunk co-worker made her 12:30 am train (the bar we were in had a freaking 11:30 last call) so I'm tired. I'm hung over. I'm lazy.

So, I'm reading all your posts from yesterday while waiting for the room to stop spinning or a meteor strike to vaporize my hungover ass. Posts like
Poobomber's. Posts like Grant Miller's. Posts like Alex's. I had to answer. I had to defend. I had to make the room stop FRAK'n spinning. So, instead of doing the actual work, I decided to plagiarize Chris Crocker instead. (Actual transcript can be found HERE.)

And now, for your enter-
TAINT-ment…


How fucking dare anyone out there make fun of BLAGOJEVICH after all HE has been
through!

HE lost HIS aunt, HE went through a divorce. HE had two
fuckin kids.

HIS husband turned out to be a user, a cheater, and
now HE's going through a custody battle. All you people care about is….. readers
and making money off of HIM.

HE’S A HUMAN! (ah! ooh!) What you
don’t realize is that BLAGOJEVICH is making you all this money and all you do is
write a bunch of crap about HIM.

HE hasn’t performed on stage in
years. HIS song is called “give me more” for a reason because all you people
want is MORE! MORE-MORE, MORE: MORE!

LEAVE HIM ALONE! You are lucky
HE even performed for you BASTARDS!
LEAVE B ALONE!…..Please.

Perez Hilton talked about professionalism and said
if BLAGOJEVICH was a professional HE would’ve pulled it off no matter
what.

Speaking of professionalism, when is it professional to
publicly bash someone who is going through a hard time.

Leave
BLAGOJEVICH Alone Please…. !
Leave BLAGOJEVICH Spears alone!… Right now!….I
mean it.!

Anyone that has a problem with HIM you deal with me,
because HE is not well right now.

LEAVE HIM ALONE!


I was going to include the Chris Crocker video, but I have this song stuck in my head now.


My work is done here. I think I hear the meteor coming.


5 comments:

SouthernBelle said...

Haha good work Scope!

BTW, I had the song in my head from the moment I saw your post title in my feed thing.

Sass said...

I think you should have videotaped yourself doing this. With running eye liner and all.

Scope said...

The though crossed my mind, and may damn well happen once the FREAKIN' ROOM STOPS SPINNING!!!

Too much effort for someone this hungover.

But it's snowing like we live in High Vagina, Sass-katchewan, so I'm sure not going anywhere today.

Grant Miller said...

That is some fucked up shit

MelO said...

LMAO... you definitely should have video taped this! My favorite part is Leave BLAGOJEVICH Spears alone! ha ha ha ha ha...

Well played, Scope.