2009-01-04

Gross-eries

In an effort to actually have food in the house, I started my car for the first time in 2009 and ventured out for these things called "groceries." I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, and he's going to scare me with blindness and losing a toe if I don't eat better and lose some weight. To soften the sting of the deserved bitch slap that is heading my way, I figured I'd better go get some real food. Here are some random observations:

- Why didn't my local chain grocery, Dominick's, have any 2 liters of Coke Zero? And it wasn't like there were empty shelves for it. If I wanted Diet Coke, I can get that for $1.09 at the Dollar General down the street, I'm not paying your $1.59.

- Thanks for the offer of the help out, but you have already provided me with this fine, wheeled cart, which will make transporting these goods to my vehicle easy enough for me to handle. Want to help? Ride shotgun with me back to my place and help me cart them up. (In actuality, I have Rubbermaid tubs, a dolly, and an elevator, so it is pretty easy on the home side. But they don't know that.)


- Every time I walk into Trader Joe's, I expect to set off some kind of "Anti-Hip" alarm. Not that the store is off putting or tries to be too cool. It's the other customers. I'd bet cash money I was the only person in the store that still had Sausage McMuffin with Egg on his breath. (Give the condemned man a last meal.) Still, I great place to get frozen fish.

- I am always surprised that Trader Joe's does not carry Malkin's jam. I hear it is now "Canada's Pure Jam" but still comes in the steel can. Childhood memories of bringing back loads of this stuff after visiting Grandma Collins in Winnipeg. Love the raspberry and the saskatoon. I'm slowly working my way thru a can of raspberry right now, in fact.

- I should just laze out and do Peapod. They deliver.

10 comments:

TishTash said...

They offer to help you with your groceries too? Huh, I thought that was just for cute girls. Ego. Dashed. Million. Pieces.

Poobomber said...

Mnnnn, Saskatoon syrup is da bomb too.

Vodka Mom said...

Um, can you go shop for me, too??

Greta said...

Hi fellow Illinoisan. Just dropped by. Are you related to Jake?

mike said...

I dont know what Coke Zero is, I've never been to Trader Joes, and I get my jelly in a squeeze bottle. But I LOVE me some Sausage Egg McMuffins. So nice post.

Scope said...

Tish Tash - In your case it's flirting. In my case, I think the 75 year old hunched back woman actually thought I might need assistance wheel the cart to my car.

Poobomber - That's EXACTLY what I'm talking about. Odds anyone else reading this has heard of a saskatoon (or Saskatoon?) 0%)

Vodka Mom - I'm a surprisingly good shopping buddy for a straight man. However, my dearest friends will tell you that employing me as a personal shopper would be a grave mistake.

Greta - Thanks for stopping by. Jake? Most likely not.

Mike - I have always thought that McDonald's should offer those little bombs of deliciousness all day.

Cora said...

Yeah, I feel utterly out of place in Trader Joe's too. Just point me in the direction of a Fred Meyer Store, that's more my league.

Jana said...

Fred Meyer, organic section, I'm happy.

MelO said...

MMMMMM......


You had me at sausage mcmuffin with egg!! ;)

~E said...

Contrary to popular belief, losing a toe? Not so bad!

Losing the whole foot tho...that would suck.